Pat's Answer

To Pat / 22 April 2020

Topic: I feel like an.ugly duckling

Your Question

Hi Pat,

I struggle with bad anxiety, low self esteem and have a bad view of myself. I always feel second best and never good enough. I’ve told my late rd and they were great but to be honest I feel like a problem child. I’m struggling right now because all of my friends are allowed on certain apps that I’m not allowed onto and I always feel like an.ugly duckling. I feel fat and weird even though I’m normal sized . Some times I think of starving myself

From Pat / 6 May 2020


Welcome to Ask Pat,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing what is going on for you. You talk about feeling that you are struggling, you mention experiencing anxiety, low self-esteem and having a poor view of yourself. It seems like you have reached out before and you found it helpful but that you feel like a ‘problem child’ when you reach out. You also mention that you feel you are struggling as you are not allowed on certain apps that your friends are allowed on.

You mention starving yourself and it is concerning that you feel this is an option for you. It is also worrying that you have such a poor view of yourself that is leading to you to think of taking such drastic action.

What do you think about talking to a trusted adult again? It is something that you have done before and you said that you got a benefit from it. You have the right to share what is going on for you with someone who you feel comfortable talking to, and talking to a trusted adult can help a young person to explore their thoughts and feelings further. If you feel like there is not a trusted adult in your life just now, who you can talk to at the moment, there is always the option of contacting Childline, who are here to listen.

Remember when you talk to Childline, you can talk through your thoughts, feelings and options. Childline do not judge what you say and your chat can stay confidential. You can call us, text us, or webchat us, with all the contact details available on this website.

Our Childline website has further information that you may find helpful, in the section called ‘Info and Advice’. There are a number of sections that you might find useful and relevant to how you are feeling, and they provide further supports and links to other resources which can help you.

You have been so brave in making contact with us tonight. Please get in contact with us soon.

Take care,


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