Alex's Answer

Hi there, 

You’re very welcome to Ask Alex today. So, you’re wondering what to do about your best friend and what happened when you were in class together, when you both were talking, and she made a comment to your ex-best friend about your previous friendship. 

You mentioned that you stayed silent and didn’t talk to her, how has your relationship been with her since then? It can be really tough when we have disagreements with friends, or don’t understand their behaviour and can be hurtful when they make comments about you to old friends. It can also be difficult staying quiet and keeping our true feelings inside us. 

You said you are best friends with this girl, so it sounds like you usually have a pretty strong friendship, would that be fair to say? What do you think it would be like to try and talk to her about what happened? From what you say, she didn’t want to keep talking about the subject but it’s not clear what her reasons were around this.

It’s important that you both get the chance to express how you are feeling, and for you to understand why she reacted the way she did. Having a clearer understanding of what was going on for your friend in that moment may help you decide what you’d like to do next, and if you’d like to try and rebuild the friendship and trust. Here is an article with some tips around having difficult conversations, it may be helpful to read it before you talk to your friend: spunout.ie/sex-relationships/relationships/tough-conversations/. 

You deserve to have friends that are there for you, and make you feel happy and supported. All friendships have their ups and downs, but you will know best if you feel your friendship is worth working on and saving. Are there some other friends in your life that you enjoy spending time with too and that you could maybe get their perspective on what happened?

Your well-being is always so important, particularly when we are going through challenging situations, so remember to keep taking part in activities you enjoy and that make you happy.  

If you’d like to have a chat in a safe, confidential space about what’s happening, Childline is always here for you,. You can contact us via our Live Chat service (click on the symbol on the right-hand side of your screen) or on the phone at 1800 66 66 66. Childline is open 24/7 for any reason you might want to talk about anonymously and without judgment.

We hope some of what we’ve said has helped and you get the outcome you want with your friends. 

Take care of yourself, 

Alex