Pat's Answer

To Pat / 20 Dec 2019

Topic: Coming out

Your Question

Hey Pat!

I know I’m gay but I’m too nervous to come out to my family. I’ve only told three of my friends so far and they have accepted me which is nice (And it turns out none of them are fully straight either.) but yet I’m still scared. I feel like I will be accepted cause my godfather is gay and no one has ever talked badly about him. I feel like I should come out to them and let them know, but another part of me wants to still keep it a secret.
Basically my question is, when do you think would be a good time to come out

From Pat / 17 Jan 2020


Welcome to Ask Pat.

In your email you state that you are gay but are too nervous to come out to your family. You mentioned that you feel that you will be accepted but part of you still wants to keep it a secret.

There are different stages in the coming out process and some people feel ready to come out sooner than others. Only you can decide when is the right time for you.

For more support and information you can log on to You can also get support by contacting the LGBT Helpline on 1890 929539. You can also talk to Childline by phoning 1800 66 66 66 (24 hours a day), by texting to 50101 (10am – 4am every day) or by chatting with Childline online on this site (10am – 4am daily).

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