Alex's Answer

Am I transgender

Your Question

Alex, How should/do I know if I’m transgender? I’ve been changing my pronouns for sorting of a long time and I think he/Jim fits me. Am I trans or not? I’m kind of scared of something but I just don’t know what. I think this might be a phase but I used to be genderfluid and use multiple pronouns. It’s all so confusing. u_u; 


Hi there, 

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Alex and sharing what is on your mind today. We know it isn’t always easy to talk about what we are thinking or how we are feeling.  

Gender identity is personal. It is how you feel about your gender and there is no right or wrong way to know whether you are trans. Remember, you are the best expert on yourself, and it is only through exploring your gender identity that you will know what is right for you.  

Feeling scared of something or a little confused is understandable and it is possible that it may be a phase, however, there are a few things you can do to explore your gender identity and learn what you feel most comfortable with. Small steps towards expressing your gender in ways that feel right for you can make a big difference. Remember, it is okay to explore your gender identity and only you can decide what is right for you. Here are a few things you can do to help.  

You could try journaling or writing down your thoughts and feelings on the topic to explore what makes you feel comfortable and uncomfortable. You could also speak to someone you trust about how you are feeling. This could be a family member, parent, friend, teacher or any supportive adult in your life or someone who has been through a similar experience. Organisations such as Belong To (www.belongto.organd TENI ( provide support for Trans people in Ireland. Belong To offers support and advice to young people who are exploring their gender identity and host a youth group for trans and non-binary young people called IndividualiTy which will allow you to meet other people who are exploring their gender identity.  

The following articles and can be helpful when exploring your gender identity. 

Well done on reaching out and asking for advice. Remember, while our gender identity is a part of us, it is not the only thing that defines us so it is okay to take the time to explore and decide what it is we are most comfortable with.  

We’re always here for you at Childline if you’d like to talk a bit more about how you’re feeling or what’s on your mind, no matter how big or small.  We have a webchat service (Live Chatthrough and a phone service (1800 66 66 66), and both are open 24/7. We offer an anonymous, confidential and non-judgmental safe space for you to talk about whatever is on your mind. We would love to hear from you!  

Take care of yourself, 


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