Alex's Answer

Hi there,     

Thank you for reaching out to us in Ask Alex.  It sounds like you have a question around your experience of being bossy. Well done for reaching out.  

Bossiness can be described as offensively self-assured or a person who exercises unwarranted power over others or always telling people what to do. Reading this definition, do you still think you are bossy? Some people confuse assertiveness or confidence for bossiness. Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive in defending a right or point of view.  

When we are bossy, we tend to hurt people’s feelings by telling them what to do without them asking for our advice. Does this sound like you? If so, we can’t say why you are like this, some people resort to bossiness to hide their own insecurities or fears and want to feel important and loved by their family and friends. It is understandable that you would like to feel loved and respected by the people in your life.  

Remember, you have the right to be confident and assertive, just as everyone has the right to lead a rich and fulfilling life. You have been very brave coming to Ask Alex about this.  

Know that Childline is always here for you if you want to talk about this further You can call Childline free on 1800 66 66 66 or reach out through Live Chat at www.Childline.ie . Childline is a non-judgmental and confidential service, so it is a really safe space to talk. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There will always be somebody waiting for your call or chat.

Look after yourself, and reach out soon for any reason,

Alex