Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex,

 

You are telling us you can’t see a way out except for suicide. You have plans, and it is all you can think about. You are afraid to bring it up in therapy, and you are feeling scared.

 

We are glad that even with feeling so scared and low, you have decided to write to us. We understand how scared you must be feeling, and how much it must hurt for you to consider suicide as the only option. We will do our best to support you and keep you safe today.

 

We don’t know how long you have been going to therapy. It might be something new you have just started, or maybe you have been there for a while and haven’t felt yet, that you can trust the process. We understand therapy can be intimidating at times, especially if you have been let down by other trusting adults. It might feel unsafe to put yourself in the hands of someone else. Nevertheless, sharing how you are feeling in therapy could mean taking a step towards life instead of death in a moment like the one you are experiencing now.

 

We cannot convince you to trust, and it is not our place to do so, but we know therapy is a safe space. The person in the room with you wants to help and listen to whatever you have to say, and they won’t judge you for any of it. Therapists understand that we can be in a lot of pain, and that we will try to cope in any way we know. While understanding what we do to cope, they will support us in finding ways that are not harmful to ourselves.

 

The way you are finding to cope now, is imagining yourself taking your own life. We wonder how you feel when you imagine it. We know some people may feel relief imagining themselves out of pain and suffering. We understand that feeling. At the same time, we also know that a lot of people feeling like that don’t really want to be dead, they just want the pain to stop, and for that, there are other ways to cope. It could take a bit of time, but they will keep you alive and give you a chance to find peace without disappearing irreversibly.

 

We believe opening up to your therapist would be the safest thing to do. As a mental health professional, they will do anything in their power to keep you safe and support you through this very difficult moment. They could also provide additional resources if needed to keep you away from harm. They will care, and we do care about you being alive.

 

We wonder if you have talked about these feelings with anyone around you, maybe a friend or a family member, someone in your school, like a teacher or a guidance counsellor. You don’t have to do this on your own. There are also helplines that could support you if you felt very unsafe within yourself. Pieta House has a 24-hour Crisis Helpline and text service: www.pieta.ie. You could also reach out to the emergency services by calling 999, or ask someone you trust to do it with you.

 

We hope you decide to keep yourself safe. We are here for you. If you need more support, do not hesitate to contact us again. Our 24-hour services at 1800 66 66 66 and Live Chat through Childline.ie, are anonymous, confidential and offer you safe space to talk about any thing at any time.

 

Stay safe, and know that you are not alone, please reach out again soon,

 

Alex