Any of us can feel lonely or isolated at times. It’s an uncomfortable experience of feeling alone and emotionally bereft, no matter how many people are around.  

Loneliness is a perfectly rational response to a lack of human connection. There are many reasons why someone would feel lonely: 

• If you find it hard to make friends 

• If you have moved schools and have to start somewhere new 

• If you have been abused or bullied 

• If you have lost someone close to you 

• If you don’t get on with your family or live in care 

• If you have an illness or disability 

• If you have an eating disorder or are depressed 

• If you have ended a relationship 

• If you have been hurt by people in the past, it can be hard to trust new people you meet and this can make you feel lonely 

• If you’re shy or experience social anxiety 

• If a close friend moves away 

Do you wish you had more people in your life? If your social network doesn’t meet your expectations and you think you lack deep and meaningful connections with others, it’s only natural to feel as if you’re missing out.  

Feelings of loneliness can affect all of us at any time. It’s only natural to look at someone who has lots of friends and think that they could never be lonely. But often this isn’t the case at all. One person may feel lonely even though they have a wide circle of friends, while another may feel all their emotional needs are met with just a few pals.  

It can be hard to meet a group of people that you feel a real connection with.  

If you are feeling lonely, it can be hard to work up the enthusiasm to actually go out and meet people. The mere thought of a get-together can leave you feeling drained.  

It can be easy to fall into the habit of shunning contact, leaving you feeling even more isolated and withdrawn. It’s emotionally distressing and exhausting to feel this way and can eventually lead to feelings of worthlessness.  

Feelings of loneliness come and go through life. Sometimes the best thing to do is accept you feel lonely in the current circumstances, and that this is okay.  

Let yourself feel your feelings, and maybe even be curious about them. Writing down how you feel can help you explore things more fully, and help you organise your thoughts and feelings a bit better.  

Don’t be hard on yourself. After a relationship or friendship break-up, it can be difficult to adjust to life without that person. It can feel isolating. 

Meeting new people can be stressful when you’re feeling down. Begin by trying to give your self-esteem a boost by finding achievable goals and building on them little by little.  

Try to get used to your own company, learning to like yourself is a big step to boosting your confidence.  

Share what’s on your mind with someone you trust. Childline is always here to listen. Talking about your problems to someone you trust means they can help you see things differently. They can give you new ideas about how to cope, or help you change things in your life that worry you. 

Putting things into words helps. Sometimes it’s just good to say what’s on your mind. Talking to someone could make you feel like you don’t have to deal with it on your own and make things feel more manageable. 

You can have different types of friends. Some friends are good for having a laugh with and sharing your favourite hobbies. Other friends can be there when you want to pour your heart out. 

The number of friends you have isn’t important. What matters is having friends that you’re close to, who support you and won’t try to hurt you or bully you. 

Think about what really interests you and pursue a new hobby. 

It may feel hard to start conversations, but there may be other people who also want to make friends and will like it when you start chatting to them.  

Every friendship has to start with a first conversation and you may find it easier to start chatting to people as you get more experience. 

Take your time getting to know new people. When you’re lonely, you may place too much weight on new friendships and relationships. It’s better to build trust gradually, take it slow and accept your new friends as they are.  

Take your time with new relationships.  

Don’t be fooled by social media either. Remember people are only posting their best images online, it isn’t real life; it’s just a very carefully curated snapshot.