Sex is not a bad word but for some, the word alone is enough to make them cringe or feel embarrassed and awkward!
It is normal to be curious about sex and it is important to talk about it with the trusted adults in your life.
There are different kinds of sex but all of them require good communication and consent. It is crucial to remember that sex can result in STD’s and pregnancy but there are ways to protect yourself.
What is Sex?
Sex can be defined in different ways by different people. Some types of sex include:
- Vaginal sex
- Oral sex (mouth to genital contact)
- Anal sex
- Fingering or hand jobs (hand to genital contact)
- Dry humping or genital rubbing
- Masturbation (touching yourself)
Whatever sex means to you, being sexual and intimate with another person comes with a lot of responsibility. It is important to think about what things you feel comfortable doing and consider any risks involved, like STDS or pregnancy, and how to help prevent them. It is also helpful to think about what you DON’T feel comfortable doing and when you don’t want to give consent.
According to the law, a person must be 17 years of age to be able to consent to engaging in a sexual act and this applies to every person, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.
What’s vaginal sex?
Vaginal sex is when a penis goes inside a vagina. Some people enjoy this type of sex and others don’t. Some people can orgasm with this type of sex alone while others need their vulva/clitoris stimulated as well in order to orgasm.
Just like all kinds of sex, everyone has different things they like and don’t like and that’s okay.
If you are over 17 and you are considering having sex, it is important to talk with your partner about how you’ll help protect each other from STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases). Vaginal sex can result in pregnancy, so it is vital to use birth control like the hormonal pill or condoms.
What is oral sex?
There are a lot of names used to describe oral sex – “going down” or “eating out” are two of the most common ones. Oral sex occurs when someone uses their mouth to stimulate another’s genitals.
You cannot get pregnant from oral sex but you may catch an STD so protection is still very important.
What is anal sex?
Anal sex is when the penis is in the anus during intercourse. Some people enjoy this sensation and others don’t. Pregnancy is very unlikely while having sex this way, however there is a higher risk of contracting an STD so protection is extremely important.
If you are over 17 and having any type of sex, it is important to listen to you body. If anything hurts, stop doing it. Your partner should respect this and all sex should be enjoyable and fun.
What’s an orgasm?
An orgasm is the release of tension that can happen during sex or masturbation. It is often intense and feels good and this can also be referred to as coming/cumming or climaxing.
An orgasm can cause changes in your body – your face becomes warm and red, your heart beats faster, muscles spasm in your genitals and you may experience a pleasurable feeling across your whole body.
During an orgasm, the penis squirts a small amount of semen – a white liquid that contains sperm and other fluids and this is called ejaculation. It is also possible for the vulva to squirt out a fluid during an orgasm. Female ejaculation in this way is less common but it is still normal.
Everybody is different and there isn’t one right way to have an orgasm. Some people have orgasms easily while others might need more time or a specific type of stimulation. Some people can have an orgasm while masturbating but find it more difficult with a partner – all these differences are normal.
Although people tend to think that having an orgasm is the goal of sex, it is possible to get lots of pleasure and intimacy from doing sexual things even if you don’t orgasm.
It is very normal to be curious about sex, bodies and how things work. However, pornography or “porn” is not a true depiction of real, consensual sex, and despite it being many young people’s first encounter with sexual content – whether you are looking for it or bump into it online – it is not the best place to learn about sex.
If you would like to get real answers about puberty, sex and relationships, it is best to turn to the trusted adults in your life or get honest information from health care providers.