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Summary

Even the best of friends have disagreement, fallings out and fights. They can cause a lot of distress, but there are steps you can take to make amends and move on, maybe even with a stronger friendship. Read more to find out the best way to get a good friendship back on track… 

Being best friends with someone means that you’ll sometimes disagree on certain things and maybe even have a fight about them. 

When that happens, it can be upsetting but it doesn’t mean your friendship is over!  

Fights between friends happen and the important thing is to know what to do in order to put things right again.  

So, if you have a fight, here are a few tips to get your friendship back on track:

Think before you speak (or type!)  

It’s natural to want to immediately react by expressing our outrage or anger at something the other person has done or said. Unfortunately, that often makes things worse.   

Take a deep breath and really think about the best way to show the other person how you’re feeling without insulting them. If you’re doing it over text or instant messaging you have even more time to craft the response you want.  

Take some time out  

If you feel like you’re going to explode with frustration at your friend’s behaviour, it’s best to just leave the room.   

The last thing you want to do is say something you end up regretting that you can never take back.  

Talk it out with a trusted adult  

While it’s best to keep your other friends out of the fight you’re having with your best friend, it’s natural to want to talk it through with a parent or older sibling to get a fresh perspective on it.  

Keep it private

Don’t share the details of your fight on your social media channels. That will not end well.   

Listen to what they have to say

When you do meet up with your friend again, be present and actively listen to what they’re telling you.   

It’s good to hear their side of the story – maybe they are going through something in their lives that you don’t know about. Pay attention to their words instead of just planning your response in your mind as they’re talking!  

Acknowledge your role in the fight

It takes two people to have a fight so it’s important to remember that you played a role in it as well. Could you have done things differently? Did something happen to you that day that made you behave in a way that you wouldn’t normally? What exactly made you upset or angry?  

Once you take responsibility for your actions, it will hopefully make it easier to accept what has happened and move on.  

Be respectful

Even if you have listened to your friend and still disagree with them, it’s important to be respectful of their opinion.  

The question you now need to ask yourself is if this fight is worth losing a friend over. Maybe you will end the friendship, but maybe you just need some time apart… or perhaps you can still be friends but not be as close as you once were, and just hang out in a group setting.  

Key takeaways

  • It can be easy to get lost in an angry reaction and say things we don’t mean. Try to take a breath and respond in a way that expresses how you feel without being mean or cruel.
  • Never take it publicly to social media! Try to keep in between you.
  • When you do meet up, be present and really listen to what they have to say
  • Taking responsibility for your part in a fight and apologising for anything you need to goes a long way to fix things after a fight.
  • Stay respectful, even if things don’t feel fully fixable to the way they were before.

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