What is embarrassment?
Embarrassment is the uncomfortable feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you worry about what other people think of you. You can have those worries for lots of reasons. For example, you might worry that you said something wrong, or someone has said something about you, or you think you look different.
You might blush, sweat or feel your heart rate race when you feel embarrassed. It can also leave you feeling upset, isolated or hurt, even when you have done nothing wrong.
Try to remember that everyone feels embarrassed at times, and this feeling will pass.
Why do we feel embarrassed?
Sometimes we say things without thinking and immediately regret it. Sometimes people misunderstand what we’ve said and we feel foolish. Sometimes we’ve done nothing, and we still feel as if we’ve got it wrong or we’re being judged. It’s easy to feel embarrassed and these feelings can be triggered by many situations. For example,
- Being hurt, put down or bullied by other people
- Talking about sex or your body
- Something you’ve said or done that you regret
- Sharing how you’re feeling or asking for help
- What happens at home or with your family
However, you never need to feel embarrassed talking to Childline, we’re always here to listen no matter what you want to say.
Coping when you’re embarrassed
When it comes to embarrassment, no-one is immune. Think of the most chilled-out person you know. Even they have felt embarrassed at times. It’s a typical emotion, and we all feel it at different times and are triggered for different reasons.
Sometimes we feel embarrassed by things other people haven’t even noticed. At other times, our embarrassment is public for all to see.
It is a truly horrible feeling but one that will pass, no matter how bad it feels at the time.
It can be challenging to cope with embarrassment. Sometimes it can help to try to ignore it. Even though you felt that something was awkward and humiliating, if nobody else has reacted to it, then staying calm and acting like it’s not a big deal can help to stop something feeling even more embarrassing.
It’s always good to talk. Sharing what’s happened or what’s making you feel this way can help other people to support you and can help you realise that it is possible for you to feel differently in the future.
How to overcome embarrassment
Recognise the feeling for what it is – intense but temporary. You may feel awkward and humiliated, but chances are you’ve done nothing to be ashamed of.
Try to change how you think about a situation. Thinking that ‘I can learn from this’ is a lot more helpful for your mindset than ‘everyone is laughing at me’.
Sometimes it can help to laugh or make a joke of the situation. It also lets others know that you can see the funny side, and it might even encourage them to open up about their own embarrassing moments.
It can help to remind yourself that even if you’re not ready to laugh about it now, that can change in the future.
It can also be good to do a reality check to put the situation into perspective – it may not be nearly as bad as you might have initially thought.
Try to move your focus beyond what has happened and look to the future. This can mean thinking about ways to do things differently next time, apologising for something you’ve done wrong or owning up to a mistake and taking time to look after yourself or plan things that help you feel positive.
Getting help
Feeling embarrassed can make some people feel ashamed or like they need to keep things to themselves, but talking about it can really help.
Worrying about how other people might react, what they’ll think and how they’ll see you can make it hard to open up sometimes. You might also be worried about whether things are important enough to talk about, or if you’ll be taken seriously.
Everyone deserves to feel heard and supported.
It can help to talk to an adult you trust, or to a friend. If you’re worried about talking to someone in your life, you can always talk to us.
Key takeaways
- Embarrassment is an intense emotion but a temporary one
- Being embarrassed can leave you feeling upset, isolated or hurt, even when you have done nothing wrong
- No-one else may have noticed what has made you feel embarrassed
- If you can, try to see the humour in the situation. After all, everyone has done something they feel embarrassed about
- It’s always good to share your feelings
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