Summary
Romance, love and affection is a lovely thing, and healthy relationships can add so much to our lives. But sometimes what starts out beautifully can start to change into something not so good for you. It’s important to learn to recognise warning signs (red flags) for this, so that you can end what isn’t working and move on to healthier relationships…
Being in a healthy relationship can bring wonderful benefits to your life – love, support, friendship, romance, affection, someone to talk to about your day and how you’re feeling.
However, there are times when some of us may find ourselves in relationships that may have started off well but have since changed.
It can be difficult to pinpoint exactly when it happens (unless it’s a very obvious event or situation) but it’s important to recognise the ‘red flags’ and move on as soon as you can.
A red flag in a relationship is a warning sign that certain traits or behaviour – even one-off occurrences – could become damaging or toxic overtime.
Here are some examples of relationships red flags that everyone should be aware of. There is a problem if the other person:
- Acts controlling or possessive of you
- Uses alcohol or drugs as an excuse for harmful behaviour
- Embarrasses or humiliates you either in private or in public
- Yells, shouts or throws things either at you or near you
- Consistently goes back on promises they made
- Plays mind games or makes you doubt yourself (gaslighting)
- Pressures you for sex
- Threatens to hurt or kill themselves if you leave
- Makes all your decisions for the two of you
- Tries to alienate you from your family and/or friends
- Frequently gets jealous or accuses you of cheating
- Grabs, pushes or physically hurts you
- Makes you afraid to be alone with them
If you are in a relationship that you are finding hard to leave, Childline is always here to listen and support you. Call 1800 66 66 66, text 50101 or use live chat on Childline.ie
Key takeaways
- Most relationships start well – that’s why we get into them!
- Sometimes, things start to change in a way that’s hard to pinpoint… but things just start to feel ‘off’, and you don’t feel as good as you did in the beginning.
- Red flags are behaviours, or warning signs of behaviours that could turn more toxic or harmful – it’s good to get to know what they look like.
- Red flags can be quite small and occasional in the beginning… but often they become more common and more serious as time goes on.
- It can be hard to leave a relationship even when you see red flags. If you’re struggling you can contact us for support.
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