Alex's Answer
Worrying about the future, even though I'm young
Your Question
I get very anxious whenever I think of the future even though I’m quite young to think about that stuff but whenever I’m alone at night the thought always catches up to me and I start to panic thinking what happens if I don’t make it or if things don’t go the way they planned I usually worry about that one. I do pretty well in school but I always think it’s not enough. I used to have this fixed mindset that everything will just come to me and I know that’s pretty immature but whenever I share these thoughts people always say or joke about it that I’m too young that I don’t know the struggle. I keep thinking about how my childhood is slipping away and all these changes are making me panic a lot and I hate the advice that everyone gives it barely helps for example just focus on the now and this is all normal to think about. Just everything is changing so quickly and I hate it. I miss my younger self and when life was so much easier and I can’t escape the past just yet I’m not ready.
Answer
Hello there,
Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at Ask Alex today. It sounds like there is a lot going on for you at the moment, and it may be a time of change for you right now.
You’ve mentioned a couple of different things there. Firstly, it’s completely understandable that you may feel anxious thinking about the future and the different thoughts that come along with that. Just to say, you are absolutely not alone in feeling like that. For some people, it can be feeling anxious about not knowing what’s going to happen, while for others, it can be fear about what could change in their lives right now. You’ve said that you sometimes worry about not making it or about things not going as planned. It sounds like you are planning ahead and thinking about what you would like to see happen in the future. That’s amazing and shows real passion and commitment for whatever it is you would like to do. The scary thing about the future is that we don’t know for sure what’s going to happen, but on the other hand, that is also something great. The future gives you the freedom to choose whatever path you would like to go down to pursue your passions. And if things don’t work out as planned, there is always another path or route to take.
You say that you do pretty well in school but always think it’s not enough – can we say it sounds like you are being hard on yourself? You acknowledge that you do pretty well, which is fantastic, but it must be tough to feel like it’s not enough. If we try to break down that thought a little, what makes you feel like it’s not enough? Do you really think that’s true that it’s not enough? Or where do you think that thought is coming from? Sometimes it can help to try and challenge our thoughts and replace them with a kinder one – for example, “I’m doing my best in school.” There is an article on the Childline website all about Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs) and how to overcome them: www.childline.ie/how-
You talk about changes in your life and feeling like your childhood is slipping away – these are difficult thoughts and things to cope with, and understandably could lead to you panicking. We know lots of people struggle with change, and it can cause some stress, but it can often be a good thing too. Maybe it’s making new friends, starting a new course, or a part-time job, all of these things can be stressful but also exciting and can help you grow as a person in different ways. It’s important that you have some ways of coping when you are feeling anxious or stressed. Spunout has an article here spunout.ie/mental-
Additionally, you and your parents/guardians might find the ISPCC Digital Mental Health and Wellbeing programmes helpful. Here is the link to them on the ISPCC website www.ispcc.ie/guided-digital-programmes/.
It sounds like you have tried to talk to some people in your life about how you’ve been feeling, and that takes a lot of courage. It seems like you haven’t found that to be helpful right now, and that’s okay. Sometimes it might help to speak with someone you don’t know, and we are always here for you if you would like to do that. We’re really glad you reached out to us today and shared with us how you’re feeling. If you would like to chat with someone at any time of the day or night, you can click onto our Live Chat (the orange button on the righthand side on this website) or give us a call on 1800 66 66 66. We would love to hear from you.
Take care of yourself,
Alex
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