Pat's Answer

Is it a cry for help that I sometimes want to kill myself but also want survive?

Your Question

Why do I want to kill myself but survive but other times I just want to die. Is it a cry for help??? My mother already doesn’t believe I’m depressed so I can’t get a diagnosis


Hi, welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you so much for trusting us with your thoughts. We know it can be difficult to open up, but we think it is great for young people to share their problems. Talking about and sharing what is going on for you is a big step forward.

A lot of our feelings can be like waves, they come and go, and some can be stronger than others. There will be days when our emotions and thoughts can feel very overwhelming. It’s important for you to know that your feelings are valid. Just because you are having trouble understanding what you are experiencing does not mean that your feelings are not real. You have taken the first steps to working on your wellness by reaching out to us today and that’s very brave of you.

We are concerned that you have suicidal thoughts. It’s very important that you discuss what you are experiencing with a trusted adult in your life, maybe an older sibling or cousin, an aunt/ uncle, teacher, or coach. Perhaps you’d like to write down how you feel and show the trusted adult, as this can sometimes be an easier way to get your feelings out

It is important for your mental well-being that you get the help and support that you deserve. Have you thought about talking to your GP? You have the right to medical advice and to seek support from a counsellor.  

There are organisations that can support you such as Jigsaw ( Their website may help you understand what is going on for you or you may find a way to avail of their support services. The Childline website has a selection of helpful articles at This article on asking for help may be useful for you as well: -to-do/.  If you feel like you are ever in immediate danger, you can ring the Emergency Services on 999 or 112 and they will keep you safe from harm. These calls are free from any mobile or landline. 

Remember, you can always phone Childline on 1800 66 66 66 to talk about what is going on for you. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our text service 50101 and Web Chat service through are also available daily. While we do not tell you what to do, we are here to listen and support you, and to help you to explore the options that are available to you in your life. We are here to help you in a way that suits you.  

We hope that you find this information helpful, and that you can get some support soon. 

Take care

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