Alex's Answer

Why am I so fat?

Your Question

Alex why am I so fat? I keep eating. My binge eating is so bad. and I want to lose about 20 pounds. Most people say my body is to die for but that’s not true. Im chubby and ugly I cant do this anymore. How do I lose weight fast? Im exercising but its so bad I cant keep going and as much as I stop eating I binge eat even more. DIets never work I think I’m going to start throwing up after every meal. Im just 14. I shouldn’t go through this. 

Answer

Hi there, 

Thank you so much for contacting us here at Ask Alex. It seems like there is a lot going on for you right now.  

You’re wondering how to lose weight, that your binge eating is so bad, and that you’re thinking about throwing up after every meal. We’d be concerned to hear you’re thinking about doing that, and that you feel like you are fat. 

It sounds like your image of yourself, and your body, really differs from what other people see, and you don’t feel like their perspective is true. It can be so difficult to feel good about ourselves when we are presented with so many images (particularly online) of what a ‘perfect’ body looks like, and hard to know what is realistic. When do you remember these thoughts first starting for you, about feeling like you need to lose weight and that your body isn’t good enough? Or was there something that triggered them for you do you think? 

There seems to be lots of negative thoughts that are going through your mind at the moment, around losing weight and feeling like you have to keep going with it. That is a lot of pressure to put on yourself, on top of pressure you may be feeling from other external influences. We know it must be incredibly difficult to think about anything else when it’s taking up so much of your thoughts, around weight loss, binge eating and diets but it’s so important to think about things you enjoy in your life too, and to be kind to yourself. We all can have negative thoughts about ourselves, but they can be tough to get a handle on, and it can impact our mood and behaviour. It might help to consider would you talk to a friend how you speak to yourself? You deserve the same kindness you would show towards your friend. 

Having persistent negative thoughts about our body impacts so many other areas of our life – our self-esteem, our physical and mental health – and when we’re not feeling great, we compare ourselves to others and can focus on all the things we don’t like in our life. There are a couple of articles I will point you towards on our website, one around body image and one on automatic negative thoughts – www.childline.ie/draft-how-to-learn-to-love-the-way-you-look/ and www.childline.ie/how-to-combat-automatic-negative-thoughts-ants/ 

You have the right to get help and support with how you’re feeling and it’s important for your mental wellbeing that you get that. You have done so well contacting us today. You have the right to be listened to, and to be able talk through your support options. This could be with someone you know and trust, or you can always contact us on our chat service (click on the purple messenger circle at www.childline.ie) or over the phone (our number is 1800 66 66 66), any time of the day or night. There is also an organisation called Bodywhys, who support people affected by eating disorders. Their website has lots of resources, and explains the support services they offer too: https://www.bodywhys.ie/recovery-support-treatment/support-services-2/  

You are going through so much right now, and you deserve to feel happy and good about yourself. We know we have gone through a lot in our answer, so take the time to read through it and figure out what you would like to do next. We would love to hear from you. 

Take care, 

Alex 

 

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