Pat's Answer

When someone says they will be there for you, but they are not

Your Question

i am 13. and i think you know how it feels when someone says the are always there for you…my friends say that all the time. but it seems the are nowhere to be seen. i always feel sick in school from the people around me. my mom and dad are aware of this. the let me talk to child line 2 years ago. when my friends say i will always have them it feels like giving someone a gun. and putting it to your hurt. and willing to trust the wont pull the trigger. at least thats in my opoine. but ya… scared off being hurt by people close to me…. again. and am scared of losing somone i know does not care about me…but anyway.. ya 


Hello, you are very welcome to Ask Pat,  

Thank you so much for trusting us with your thoughts. We know it can be difficult, but we also know how great it is for young people to share their problems. Talking about your thoughts and feelings with someone, is a big step forward.  

We are sorry to hear how you are feeling and how you find being in school difficult. You say your friends tell you that they will always be there for you, but when you need them, it seems they are nowhere to be seen. You mention you feel sick in school from the people around you. You say your mum and dad are aware of how you feel in school and that you spoke with Childline 2 years ago. You say you fear being hurt by people close to you and you are scared of losing someone you know who does not care about you.  

We are concerned for you that you are not having a positive experience of being in school. It sounds like you have been hurt in the past. You have the right to be safe and happy in school and everywhere else. It is your teachers and principal’s job to make sure that you are safe when you are in school. Nobody has the right to hurt you or make you feel bad about yourself in any way.  

It is important that you get the support you rightly deserve. Would you consider talking to your parents again about your feelings around school? Maybe talking to another trusted adult would be easier for you. This adult could be an aunt or uncle, a grandparent, a teacher or guidance counsellor. You have the right to talk about what is happening to you, the right to be listened to, and the right to be heard. If you tell somebody and nothing is done, then you have the right to talk to another person, and another until your situation is sorted.  

The Childline website has some articles on friendships and bullying which you may find useful:; . You tell us that you spoke to Childline 2 years ago, how did that call go for you? How would you feel about calling us for a chat again?  

You do not have to go through this tough time alone. Childline is here for you and we really would love to listen to you. At Childline we focus on you and what is important to you. The services are free and available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. The Childline Team do not judge anything you say but will listen to everything you wish to share. You can contact us through our telephone service 1800 66 66 66, through our text service on 50101, or by web chat that you access through  our website    

We hope to hear from you soon. Take care of yourself,    


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