Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex! 

You have told us you have feelings for a straight boy, and you have asked us what to do. Thank you for taking a step forward, we know how difficult it can be for young people to open up about their worries. 

It seems you know for certain that the boy you have developed feelings for is straight. If that is the case, he might not be the right boy for you, as he is not attracted to other boys like you are. 

We don’t choose who we fall in love with and sometimes we do fall in love with someone who cannot reciprocate our feelings, even if they wanted to, they just can’t, and they won’t ever feel the same way. Trying to hold on for dear life won’t help or make you feel any better, and so the more you expect it to happen, the more if will hurt in the end.  

It is going to take time to accept and digest the fact that this cannot be, and that is okay. You may need some time apart from him for a while, until it doesn’t hurt anymore. You can use that time to take care of yourself – go for walks in nature to ground yourself, exercise, do things that make you happy. Talking to people you trust would also help with the healing, but if you wouldn’t know who to talk to, please know that you can contact Childline any time and talk about whatever you need, for as long as you need. We can be reached on 1800 66 66 66 or via the website’s live chat (www.childline.ie). 

Those feelings you have now won’t go to waste, they are a part of you, and they show you that you can love dearly. They will someday be part of someone else’s love story, someone who likes you and loves you back, someone who can give you that bit of themselves as well, because that is what we deserve, being loved as we are, fully and deeply. 

We wish you the best of luck in this journey and we hope that you find what you are looking for soon. 

Take care, 

Alex