Alex's Answer

We are worried about our friend who is self-harming

Your Question

Hey sorry ik it’s really late, but around half an hour ago my friend started talking abt how he feels self loathed and tgat he cuts himself, this was okay until he left this groupchat we were talking abt it in and then we got worried, he would respond when we called him and when we texted him, when he did reply he said he was okay, but we are not convinced he is and are worried he will cause harm to himself or worse 



Welcome to Ask Alex and thank you so much for reaching out to us. 

You have spoken about your concern for your friend who feels self-loathed and cuts himself. Self harm can be a way people cope with difficult or overwhelming feelings.  

It seems like you are really good friend who cares for this boy, and you want to get him help, which is what he deserves. Many people self-harm as a coping mechanism to deal with intense or difficult emotions. Your friend might not know why they self-harm and that is ok, the important thing is that they seek help and support for this, even though this may be hard.  

It might seem that no one understands what they are going through but please remember that help is available for your friend. Perhaps you or your other friends have an adult that you trust and that you could talk to that could help you seek this support for your friend, perhaps a teacher, youth worker, parent, family member? It is also good for you yourself, to have help and support while trying to help your friend.  

There are organisations that can help you support your friend or guide them in the right direction such as Pieta House who deal with self-harm ; Jigsaw who deals with mental health ; and the HSE who also have some very good guidance and support for mental health which can be reached on The Childline website also has some articles which you and your friends might find helpful and  

If you would like to talk to us before you go to an adult you trust, Childline would be more than happy to hear from you and your friend too of course. You can either phone us on 1800 66 66 66 or webchat with us at (just click on the orange Live Chat button) where you can chat free. Childline is a confidential and non-judgemental space for all young people, whether you have a big issue or a small issue. We are open all day, every day, so nobody needs to feel alone. Childline is always here. 

Once again thank you for reaching out to us. We hope you and your friend receives help and support very soon.  

Take care of yourself, 


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