Alex's Answer

Hi there, welcome to Ask Alex!

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concern with us. It’s not always easy to talk about our feelings, especially when it involves family. From what you’ve described, it sounds like you’re trying to express your emotions to your dad, but he’s labeling it as “gaslighting.” This term can be confusing and hurtful, especially when you feel you’re just being honest about how you feel.

Gaslighting is when someone makes another person question their reality or feelings, often to gain control. However, simply expressing why you’re upset doesn’t fall into that category. It’s important to communicate our emotions openly. Sometimes, misunderstandings happen, and it might be that your dad feels defensive or misunderstood when you express yourself.

In family dynamics, emotions can run high, and it’s common for parents and children to misinterpret each other’s intentions. Try having a calm conversation with your dad about what “gaslighting” means to him and explain your perspective. Using “I” statements, like “I feel upset when…” can help make your feelings clear without sounding like you’re blaming him.

If these conversations continue to be challenging, getting help from a trusted adult, like a teacher, counsellor, or another family member can be beneficial. They can offer support and mediation to help both of you understand each other better. Sometimes, having a neutral third party can make a big difference in resolving misunderstandings. You may also find this article helpful www.childline.ie/reconnecting-with-your-parents-or-siblings-after-a-fight/.

Remember, you’re not alone in this. If you ever feel overwhelmed or need someone to talk to, you can always call the Childline Team. We’re here for you 24 hours a day, every day. You can reach us for free at 1800 66 66 66, or chat with us on Messenger at www.Childline.ie (just click on the purple chat icon). Our service is non-judgmental and confidential. We’re here to support you and explore your options with you.

Take care of yourself. We hope things go well with your dad. Remember, you don’t have to go through anything on your own,

Alex