Alex's Answer
Something feels missing
Your Question
My life is good but I can’t escape how lonely it feels. Although I’m only 14, I feel the need to be harsh on myself so I can feel part of something – perhaps possibly useful or seen. I have good grades and I have a good social life at school, but something always feels like it’s missing. Even just being in another room alone with others just on the other side of the door feels lonely. The only time I don’t feel lonely or empty is when I watch or listen to my favourite Japanese boy group. I have so much fun watching their content and I end up uncontrollably laughing a lot of the time, even if I’m by myself. My family don’t get my love for them, yet it feels like the group I like somehow understands me more than they do. Feeling lonely can really make me afraid because it also reminds me of how many other problems I have as well. I was wondering if it’s normal to be feeling a sense of belonging even if it’s through a screen and if there’s anything I can do to feel less empty? Thank you!Â
Answer
Hello. Thanks for getting in touch with your question.Â
We’re sorry that you are having these feelings of loneliness. It’s great to hear that you are doing well in school though and have a good social life there.Â
It’s normal to feel a strong connection with something that we are a fan of like a movie or a book or like you said, with a music group. We can feel an understanding of what the group is about and music is very commonly able to engage our emotions and feelings. It’s nice to hear you have such an interest in the group and enjoy them so much. Â
You mentioned that your family don’t quite get the group like you do. Perhaps that might be why you feel a bit lonely sometimes? It can happen that we feel disconnected from our friends and families at times, especially if hobbies and interests don’t match up or people don’t understand how we feel.
Have you been able to express to your family what you enjoy about the group and how they make you feel? Or, have you been able to discuss your feelings of loneliness with a loved one or close friend? Sometimes it can help us feel a bit better to share a problem we are having.Â
If you ever feel lonely and want to have a chat with us, we have our freephone Childline Ireland service that you can call us on at 1800 66 66 66 or use our webchat at www.childline.ie if you prefer.
Our team are here to listen 24/7 about whatever you might wish to talk about. You could even discuss your favourite music group if you wanted to.Â
Thanks for contacting Ask Alex. Be kind and take care of yourself. You don’t have to go through anything on your own,
AlexÂ