Pat's Answer

To Pat / 20 Nov 2019

Topic: Sexual Abuse

Your Question

For a few years of my life i was sexually assaulted by a relative and recently that same person is trying to manipulate me into saying that it was my fault and that i wanted it even though i was way too young to even know what sex was! I feel like telling my family about this but I don’t think it’ll solve anything and will just make things complicated and if i tell the gardai about it i feel like theres no point because i wasnt raped and this was a long time ago and theres no proof. What should i do?

From Pat / 21 Nov 2019


Thank you for your mail!

First off, let us begin by saying that You are so brave to contact us in relation to this. This cannot have been an easy thing for you to do.

Lets begin firstly by addressing the sexual assault. It’s really important that you understand that this is not o.k. Nobody would have the right to do this to you. The manipulation that has happened since then is also something that we would be very concerned about. Like i said this is not o.k and you would have the right to get help. You are so brave in reaching out to us. The manipulation by this relative is something nobody should have to live with. This is NOT your fault.

You mention telling your family and touch on this in say that it will not solve anything in doing so . Have you thought about what it might prevent? Who else does this relative have access too? Talking to someone can always help. You have the right to get support and Its important to think about where that support can come from. Is there someone in your family that you feel you might be able to turn to? Having ‘one good adult’ can make all the difference.

You mention also about talking to the Gardai. The Gardai are very skilled at dealing with sexual assaults and despite this happening some time ago have many ways of working with you in relation to investigating this.

Sometimes we need to feel we are ready to talk. That we are brave enough to take that next step. In reaching out to us today you have been very brave.

We are available 24 hours a day to talk. We have our Childline phone line at 1800 666 666 and can also be contacted online at

Well done again

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