Alex's Answer

Severe enough to tell

Your Question

There are some girls in my class who are bullying me but I feel it’s not severe enough for me to tell the teachers what should I do? 

Answer

Hi and thank you for reaching out to Ask Alex.
 
You have been very brave in sharing what is going on for you, and we want to praise you for that and thank you for reaching out to our service.
 
You mentioned that “some girls in your class are bullying you, but you don’t feel like it’s severe enough to tell the teachers”. We are sorry to hear that this is happening to you. Bullying comes in many different forms, and by the sound of it, there is a group bullying you. The reasons for bullying vary, but in general, a bully wants to feel they have power over others and use that power to make others feel bad about themselves.
 
Remember, being bullied is nothing to do with you, how you look, or how you feel; it is always about the bully! It is never your fault.
 
Can we ask what you would call severe enough? Any form of bullying or picking on someone should not be tolerated. Why should it get to a level of severity where something bad must happen before anything is done about it? You have the right to feel safe and not be picked on by anyone else, and although it can be hard, it is important for you to speak up and talk to your teacher.
 
If you don’t, this will continue, and it may even get harder as it might become more regular. A question that can sometimes be useful to ask yourself is, “If this was happening to your best friend and they spoke to you about it, what advice would you give them?” Would you tell them that this is not okay and that they should speak to the teacher about it, or would you say, “Oh, that’s nothing, you’re making a big deal out of nothing”? When you think about it, we can be very good and quick at giving advice but not always as good at taking our own advice.
 
By bringing this question to the forefront, it is clear that this is not having a good impact on you, and it is something that is on your mind. What would be the harm in speaking to your teacher? If you cannot speak to your teacher, is there another trusted adult in your life—an aunt, cousin, sports coach? Talk to someone who will listen to and support you. You are not alone in this and should seek support from others.
 
If you are not yet ready to speak to those around you, the Childline team is here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for someone to chat with. You can freephone us on 1800 666 666 or via webchat by clicking the purple Messenger circle on www.childline.ie.
 
We hope that some of the above has been useful to you. We really hope that the bullying issue gets sorted out for you and that it is not something you have to struggle with.
 
Look after yourself,  
Alex

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