Alex's Answer
New School New Problems
Your Question
Hi Alex. I started a new school about 10 months ago. However, I am still finding it hard to fit in. I feel like everyone thinks of me like “that nerdy kid in the corner”. It makes me feel so upset. When they call me names when I told them to stop. After they say things, not realizing it would mean a lot if they just stopped saying those things. I have broken down a lot during this school year. I haven’t told my parents, any tips for dealing with the pressure and well, everything?
Hi there,
You are welcome to Ask Alex. Thank you so much for taking the time to write your question. We think you have been very brave to do this. We know it isn’t always easy to share what is going on for us.
Starting a new school can be very difficult, it can be hard getting to know your way around and getting to know all the new faces. So be kind to yourself, as this has been a big change for you, and you need time to adjust.
Firstly, moving schools brings about big changes in our lives and can come with certain challenges such as making new friendships, starting new routines, and getting to know new teachers. It sounds like you feel that your classmates haven’t taken the opportunity to really get to know you. It also sounds that you have tried to stand up for yourself but that the name calling continues. Unwanted name- calling is bullying. Bullying can deeply affect how we see and feel about ourselves, how we get on in school and at home. It’s very important that reach out to the trusted adults in our lives to tell them what is going on for us. This person could be a parent, carer, supportive friend, teacher, or someone else you trust. Tell them how you feel and what is being said. Staying silent will allow the bullying to continue. And this is not ok. This person could also help you to explore ways of becoming more involved in your school community by supporting you to join a school committee or club. These can be great ways to connect with different people in your school and to express your interests
No one has the right to call you names at school, and you have the right to feel safe while you are there. We would be concerned to hear that you say this is happening for you. Do you have any trusted adult in school that you could chat with about what school is like for you and how you are feeling? Every school in Ireland would have an anti-bullying policy that they need to follow so it can be helpful to talk to an adult you trust in the school privately or ask your parents to do it for you if you feel you can tell them.
It can feel hurtful when we feel people don’t see the real us and only see a version of us. It sounds like you would appreciate people getting to know you instead of making assumptions. It sounds like there has been a lot of pressure on you and that can be nearly impossible to deal with alone.
Childline is here for you too, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There will always be somebody here to talk/chat with you, if you would like to let us know a little bit more about the types of names you are being called. Our phone number is 1800 66 66 66. Our text number is 50101 and our website link is www.childline.ie . All of the Childline services are free, confidential and non-judgmental.
Please get in touch with us when you feel ready and we can chat about what is going on for you.
In the meantime here are some links that may be useful for dealing with the pressure and finding out more information.
Creating a Personal Positive Mantra – Childline by ISPCC – ESBÂ
Thank you again for contacting us here at Ask Alex.
Take care of yourself and remember how brave you are.
Alex