Alex's Answer

My self-esteem has dropped

Your Question

I am a 5th grader in HALE so the pressure is on me to keep up the good grades. However, my dad constantly swears, takes away my Xbox(I don’t even know the password to it, so why does he even do that?), and forces me to do computer science and chemistry. That’s fine, but I don’t want to do it sometimes, and when that happens he gets mad and sarcastic, and today I heard him swearing when he was downstairs. I also heard him smashing stuff and he called me “useless idiot”. I’m sure my self-esteem has dropped by 75%. There has not been a day when I haven’t cried and I need help ASAP!!

Answer

Hello there, thanks for getting in touch with us at Ask Alex!
 
Firstly, we want to welcome you and say that it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. You’re not alone in what you’re experiencing, and it’s completely valid to feel overwhelmed. It sounds like you’re facing a lot of pressure, both academically and emotionally, and that’s a heavy load for anyone, especially someone in 5th grade. 
 
We’re really sorry to hear about the way your dad’s behaviour is affecting you. It’s not ok for anyone to speak to you in such hurtful ways or to make you feel less than you are. It’s understandable that you’re feeling upset and your self-esteem has taken a hit. 
 
Ask Alex is an Irish-based service, and while we’re here to offer support services to those in Ireland, we understand you might be reaching out from elsewhere. If you’re outside of Ireland, it’s essential to see if there’s an equivalent service in your country or state that you can turn to for help. While our freephone service is only available in Ireland, you can still use our webchat service for emotional support.
 
This article from Childline Ireland’s website may be helpful for you while you seek supports more local to you, www.childline.ie/what-to-do-if-your-parents-expectations-are-stressing-you-out/. You may also get some guidance from this article too spunout.ie/sex-relationships/relationships/get-along-with-parents, however, the links and text numbers are also for Irish services.
 
Would you have another adult you can talk to about the pressures you are feeling from your dad? Another parent or family member, a teacher, or a school counsellor perhaps? These adults may be able to support you while you talk to your dad about his expectations for you.
 
Remember, you deserve to feel safe and supported at home. You are never alone in this, and there are people who want to help you. The Childline team is here for you, 24/7, to listen, support you, and explore your options together. Whether you need to talk about what’s happening at home or just need someone to listen, we’re here for you. You can reach us through Messenger at www.Childline.ie.
 
No matter where you are, there are people who care about you and want to help you through this challenging time. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support.
 
Take care of yourself, and thanks for your question,
Alex

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