Alex's Answer

My parents love me, but with conditions

Your Question

I  love my parents and they say that they’ll love me no matter what but if/when I come out to them as a lesbian, I’ll, in their words “no longer be they’re child.” I guess what I’m trying to ask is, Is it normal to be emotionally hurt most by the people you love the most? Because everyday, I’m scared that I’ll come back from school and they’ll see through the lies and just hate me. Or pity me. Why can’t they just be a little open tk it? Why do I have parents who “love me” but only on certain conditions?


Hey there, thanks for your questions,
First of all, we want to say that your feelings are valid, and it’s ok to feel hurt and scared in this situation. Coming out can be incredibly challenging, especially when you fear rejection from those closest to you, like your parents. It’s natural to want acceptance and love from the people who mean the most to you, and it can be incredibly painful when you feel like that love is conditional.
It’s sad to hear that your parents have expressed such hurtful views. It’s understandable that you’re feeling scared and unsure about how they’ll react if you decide to come out to them. It’s unfortunate that they’re not accepting of who you are. It’s important to remember that their reaction is a reflection of them and their beliefs, not of your worth or value as a person.
You are not alone in this. There are people and resources available to support you through this difficult time. Organisations like Childline are here to listen, support, and help you explore your options. Whether you need someone to talk to, support on how to navigate your relationship with your parents, or providing a safe space for you to let off steam or have a cry, we’re here for you 24/7. You can phone us for free at 1800 66 66 66 or through Live Chat on our website
It’s important to prioritise your well-being and surround yourself with people who accept and support you for who you are. While it’s natural to hope for understanding and acceptance from your parents, it’s also okay to look for support from other sources if necessary. Remember, you deserve love and acceptance just as you are, and there are people out there who will embrace you for who you are.
Take care of yourself, and know that you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are. We’re here for you whenever you need us, so don’t hesitate to reach out,

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