Alex's Answer

My parents are angry and I am grounded

Your Question

My parents are angry at me now I’m grounded I’m 13 and have girlfriend same age and my parents found out we have been having sex they are not happy and said that we have to stay away from each other they say that it illegal cause we are children do u think they shud calm down

Answer

Hi there, 

Thanks for getting in touch with what is going on for you, it sounds like a tough time for you at home. It can be hard to know how to respond when we have a disagreement with our parents or when we feel they might be angry with us. 

You have said your parents found out that you had sex and you are 13. The legal age for sex in Ireland is 17, so having sex under the age of 17 is illegal. Your parents are likely angry because they were worried about you with this in mind. The legal age is 17 as it is important for young adults to be fully informed about all the risks of sex and the consequences of having sex as they mature.  As someone under 17, you are in a vulnerable group because of your stage of development. This affects your ability to make safe decisions and is a crucial time for developing social and emotional habits that are important for mental well being. There’s more information on these laws here: citizensinformation.ie and on https://b4udecide.ie/the-facts/age-of-consent/ 

 It is  important to have a further conversation with your parents about what is going on for you, how you felt about it and what would help you in the future. This conversation will be tough and it is likely that both you and your parents may get upset. Know that these feelings are coming from a place of care and love. 

Remember, Childline is always here for you if you want to talk about this further You can call Childline on 1800 66 66 66or reach out through our webchat service, by clicking on the purple Messenger circle on www.Childline.ie. Childline is a non-judgmental and confidential service, so it is a really safe space to talk. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 

You are never alone, please reach out if you need further support or have more questions. Look after yourself,

Alex

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