Alex's Answer

My parents are abusing me

Your Question

My parents are physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. I regularly have 50+ bruises across my body from them beating me [although i’ve had as few as 10 and as many as 117]. In addition to this, my father has always been inappropriate towards me, squeezing my butt and hips and waist, and forcing me to get undressed and change clothes in front of him. Two weeks ago, he pinned me against our kitchen cabinets, forcefully held my body still, and began rubbing his genitals against me while tugging at my clothing. I have been left terrified from these experiences with him. My question is, is this sexual abuse even though i am usually clothed when these incidences occur? Usually when he does this, I am left with several bruises. I am 17, and I’ve tried involving police and cps but they called me a liar and did nothing.

Answer

Hi there,  

Thank you for contacting Ask Alex. It takes a very brave person to reach out and ask for support, so we thank you for being here.  

You have told us that your parents are abusive towards you, that your dad has been inappropriate with you, and you are asking if it constitutes sexual abuse. We are very concerned about what is happening to you, and we are sorry that the support services haven’t been helpful so far. You have the right to feel safe at home. Have you spoken to a trusted adult in your life? Maybe a teacher or a sports coach. Your GP will also be able to connect you with support services and guide you in getting the support you need. 

Sexual abuse is any sexual act that takes place without consent, when someone forces or manipulates another person into a sexual activity, and/or when the person is under the age of 17. The situations you have described constitute as Child Sexual Abuse and they are a criminal offence in Ireland. Additionally, as you have been beaten by your parents this constitutes as Child Abuse in Ireland and is also a criminal offence. You would have the right to report the abuse to TÚSLA (The Child and Family Agency in Ireland) and to the Gardaí. It is their job to make sure all young people are living in a safe environment. If you are ever feeling unsafe at home, or if the abuse has happened, you can call the emergency services on 999  or  112.

If you feel like you can’t talk to someone you know, you can always call the Childline Team at 1800 66 66 66or reach out through Live Chatat www.Childline.ie. Our services are non-judgmental and confidential. You are never alone, and there are people available to listen and explore your options with you, so please reach out to us when you need help or support. We are open 24-hours a day, every day!  

Take care of yourself and know that you are never alone,  

Alex 

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