Alex's Answer
My mom yells at my sister and I so often, we feel unsafe. What can we do?
Your Question
My mom is often mad at me and my sister for absolutely no reason at all she would come home and instantly find something to yell at us about. This is a constant thing going on for years, as my dad divorced her because he couldn’t handle it anymore me and my sister get to go to his house every so often, my dad never has issues with me he always asks nicely and always asks if I’m doing okay, I really like him, yesterday I came home from my dads after being there for a week and not even 10 minutes after my mom came home she started yelling at me for stupid reasons(a bit of cat hair,closing the door too hard,etc) I always feel anxious and unsafe when I’m around her or when I’m in her house I always feel scared of what she might do next, I just wish I can stay with my dad forever he’s always so nice to me.Â
Answer
Hi there and thanks for reaching out to Ask Alex.Â
You have explained how things are difficult with your mum as she is always angry with you and your sister, and you don’t seem to understand why. You also say this has been happening for years and it is the reason why your parents separated. You told us dad is always nice to you, but you don’t get to see him very often. You reported that you feel unsafe at mum’s house, scared of what she might do next, and that you’d rather stay with your dad forever.Â
We are very sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and that is lasting so many years. Sometimes parents can be on edge, and they can hurt whoever are close to them without realizing. That is absolutely not your fault or your sister’s, and you have the right to be safe and loved. Â
Have you spoken to any trust adult about this? That could be your dad, your grandparents, or even a teacher. They could support you in this situation and you could look for solutions together, be it talking to mum and getting her some help to manage what she is going through, moving into dad’s, or any other option that would keep you from harm. Â
If you are ever feel unsafe at home, or anywhere else, you have the right to call the emergency services at 999 or 112. These calls are free and can be made from any mobile or landline.Â
Also, you have the right to get in touch with Tusla. Tusla is the Child and Family Agency and is responsible for improving wellbeing and outcomes for children. It represents the most comprehensive reform of child protection, early intervention and family support services ever undertaken in Ireland. When someone has a Child Protection Concern they can call them or make the report on-line. They can find all the information they need here: https://www.tusla.ie/children-first/parents-and-guardians/how-do-i-report-a-concern-about-a-child/Â Â
If you ever need someone to listen and who you can talk to, know that Childline will be there for you. Childline will listen and support you and if we detect you are at risk of getting hurt, we will make a report to Tusla ourselves if needed, always informing you first. You can call free of charge at 1800 66 66 66 or use the live chat on the website www.childline.ie.Â
We hope this helps! We will be here for you whenever you need us.Â
Take care,Â
AlexÂ