My life is perfect, why do I still not want to live?
I just realized my life is perfect and that I’m doing just fine, I’m happy. So why is it, that I don’t want to live? I’ve wanted to kill myself for a little over a year now but told myself to try, and now I’m where I want to be, I’m happy. So again, why is it, that I still don’t want to live?
Thank you for getting in touch with Ask Alex, you are very welcome. We know it’s not always easy to talk about how you’re feeling so well done for reaching out to us today.
You say that you’re doing just fine and you’re happy but on the other hand, you don’t want to live and feel like you want to kill yourself. You are questioning why it is that you don’t want to live despite being where you want to be in life. We would imagine these feelings are tough to deal with and rather confusing for you. You are really brave to share this with us.
When you say your life is perfect, and that you’re happy and doing just fine, what are the things that make you happy in your life? You mentioned you have been feeling like you want to kill yourself for over a year, but you told yourself to try and you’re now where you want to be. What has worked for you over the past year to get you to this place? It sounds like you are very aware of how you are feeling and that you have worked really hard and paid much attention to your wellness over the last while.
We would be concerned to hear that you have been feeling like you want to kill yourself and want to let you know that you have the right to help and support when you are feeling this way. Is there anybody in your own life that you feel comfortable talking with about how you’re feeling? It could be a friend, or a trusted adult like a family member or a teacher.
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone in your day-to-day life, we are always here for you at Childline 24/7, 365 days a year. It is your space to talk about as much or as little as you want. If you don’t feel like talking over the phone (1800 66 66 66), we also have a text service (50101) or a chat service (https://www.childline.ie/); there will always be someone to be there for you. There are also some articles on the Childline website that you may like to look at https://www.childline.ie/suicide/ and https://www.childline.ie/how-to-tell-someone-im-having-thoughts-of-suicide/
There are also other services out you can avail of when you’re having thoughts about killing yourself. Pieta House is a support service that deals with anyone who is experiencing thoughts of suicide. Their website is here: https://www.pieta.ie/contact/, and their telephone number is 1800 247 247.
Thank you again for contacting us today, you have shown great courage to get in touch. Remember you are not alone; we are always here for you at Childline.