Pat's Answer

My father is emotionally abusive towards myself and my sister.

Your Question

My father is emotionally abusive towards myself and my sister. My mother also became a victim when she got motor neuron disease and was continuously abused until her death. I have talked with psychologists along with my school counselor and multiple reports were sent to Túsla over the years but all of them were rejected because they didn’t reach the threshold. The cases were clearly one-sided towards my father since Tusla mostly talked to him and I was only able to speak to a worker once. I don’t know what else i should do, since it’s clear that Tusla doesn’t plan on helping me. It also seems like my father will get away with abusing my mother despite it being illegal to do so, as well as her being a vulnerable adult at the time which makes it worse 

Answer

Hi there, thank you for getting in touch with Ask Pat. 

It is very brave of you to reach out to Ask Pat as it is not always easy to talk about things going on at home.  

You mentioned the fact that your father has been emotionally abusing you and your sister, and he also abused your mum who was vulnerable until she died. You said that you have tried to access support from psychologists, a school counsellor and Túsla over the years. It sounds like you do not feel that Túsla provided you with much help and you also think your Dad might get away with having abused your mother. 

We are really sorry to hear about your mum’s passing and all that has been going on for you since then. The death of a parent could be tough to cope with and we are wondering if you have thought about getting some support with that by contacting http://rainbows.ie. They support young people who may have experienced the loss of a parent. This article on the Childline website may be of interest to you too: https://www.childline.ie/experiencing-a-death-or-loss/.

We are worried to hear that your dad has continued to abuse you and your sister as we believe you both have a right to be safe in your own home. We are also concerned to hear that you have not been able to receive the proper support for this. It sounds you did everything that you could and that not getting the helped you needed from the psychologists you talked with, school counsellor and Túsla has made things worse for you. 

To know more about your rights and how to access support in relation to what happened to your mum, you could contact the Childrens Rights Alliance on https://www.childrensrights.ie/ or the Ombudsman for Children on https://www.oco.ie/ The Children’s Rights Alliance makes sure that children’s rights are respected and protected in Ireland’s laws, policies and services. The Ombudsman for Children is a human rights institution that promotes the rights and welfare of young people under 18 years of age living in Ireland. You might find this article on the Childline website useful as it gives ideas about how to get help: https://www.childline.ie/getting-help/. 

Childline is here for you, and we would really love to listen to you and support you. The service is nonjudgmental, the team will never give out to you and the services are free and available 24 hours a day. You can call us through our telephone service on 1800 66 66 66, through our text service on 50101 or by web chat which you can access through the website: www.childline.ie. 

We hope you found this helpful and feel free to contact us if you have any other questions. 

Take care, 

Ask Pat 

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.