Alex's Answer

Hi there , 

Thank you for reaching out to Ask Alex .

You say that you found out your Dad has been cheating on your Mum and he has told you if you tell Mum it will be hurting her and you don’t want to hurt your Mum .

We can’t imagine how hard this must be for you to  be placed in such a difficult position.   We can’t say whether it is right to tell Mum or not . But what we can say is that Dad does not have the right to put such a burden upon you.  How you are coping on day to day basis?  Do you have a trusted adult like extended family, a teacher, or a youth leader that you can speak too about what is going on for you? Maybe this trusted adult could support you in reaching the decision on whether to speak with Mum or not and support you in whatever decision you make. 

You say you do not want to hurt Mum, and this is understandable. Sadly, if Mum does becomes aware of what has happened, Mum may have a lot of her own feelings to deal with, which could include feeling hurt, sad etc. It will be important that Mum reaches out for her own support like you have done. It is really important to know that you are not responsible for your Dad’s actions and the possible consequences of his actions. It is also important for your well being that you do talk about your own thoughts and feelings. 

If ever you need to talk about them and you don’t know who to go to, know Childline is here for you. We will listen and support you whenever you need us. You can call us free of charge at 1800 66 66 66 or use the live chat on the website www.childline.ie, just click on the orange Live Chat tab and send ‘hello’. The service is open 24/7. You do not have to go through this on your own.

Take care, 

Alex