Alex's Answer
My boyfriend wants me to tell my family about him
Your Question
My boyfriend wants me to tell my family about us but it has only been 3 weeks. I understand that he wants them to know because his parents know but i know my parents wont let me see him as often if they know. I have told him this but he doesnt get it and seems upset that i wont tell them. I dont know how to make him happy when i know exactly how my parents will reactÂ
Answer
Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.
It sounds like there’s a lot going on for you at the moment. So you say that your boyfriend wants you to tell your parents about your relationship, but you feel if you tell them, you won’t get to see him as often, is that right?
When talking to parents about something like this, it can be perfectly normal that you will think about how they will react and what they might say. You say that you know exactly how your parents will react, have you been in a situation like this before? All of us, at some stage, can try to predict reactions of others or how a conversation will go.
You also mention that your boyfriend has told his parents about your relationship, and he seems upset that you won’t tell yours. Have you chatted to your boyfriend about his reasons for telling his parents, and how he told them? Sometimes choosing when we have conversations with our parents can be really helpful, such as making sure they aren’t busy and asking for some quiet time to have a chat. Writing things down that you want to say can also be helpful, such as the amount of times you’d like to see your boyfriend and how this won’t interfere with school/homework/work.
You may also find some of these articles helpful www.childline.ie/how-to-build-healthy-friendships-and-relationships/ ; www.childline.ie/these-are-the-characteristics-of-a-healthy-relationship/ .
You could even chat to another adult you trust about this, such as an older sibling, relative or youth worker. Talking things out can often help us solve a problem. You could also reach out to us here at Childline to chat through this. You can reach us by free phone on 1800 66 66 66 or via webchat at www.childline.ie/. You can start a chat at any time by clicking on the Orange Tab on the right-hand side of your screen. We offer a free, non-judgemental listening service and would be happy to listen to whatever is going on for you at the moment.
Take care of yourself,
Alex.