Alex's Answer

Mom has 2 moods

Your Question

so my mom seems to have two moods. Angry and irratated, or this sort of model family mindset. I have already talked on the live chat about when she is angry but when she is in the model family mindset, she wont let me leave. when she asks me for a hug i always try to get out of it. I used to be tactile when i was younger but know that she shouts at me everyday, i dont feel comfortable being so close to her. she makes me hug her despite me saying no. I don’t want to anger her. I have brought it up twice and was direct but she dismissed it and acted like it wasn’t important even though i told her again. What should I do?

Answer

Hi there, welcome to Ask Alex!

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s important to address what you’re experiencing. Your mom’s different moods and the way she reacts can be confusing and overwhelming. It’s completely okay to feel uncomfortable with these sudden shifts, especially when they affect how you interact with her.
 
When your mom is in her “model family” mindset and insists on hugs, it’s understandable that you might feel uncomfortable given her other behaviours. It’s not right for anyone to dismiss your feelings, especially after you’ve been direct about them. Setting boundaries is essential, and it’s crucial for your emotional well-being that these boundaries are respected. This article may be helpful in setting your boundaries www.childline.ie/how-to-set-boundaries-in-different-areas-of-your-life/.
 
You did the right thing by talking to her about how you feel. If you’ve already tried discussing it and she hasn’t been receptive, you might want to approach the conversation differently. Sometimes writing a letter can help, as it gives you a chance to express your thoughts clearly without being interrupted. In the letter, explain how her actions make you feel and why it’s important for her to respect your personal space.
 
Additionally, consider talking to another trusted adult, like a relative, teacher, or school counsellor. They can provide support and might help you find ways to improve the situation with your mom. It’s important to have someone who can listen and offer advice. Here is another article which may be helpful for you www.childline.ie/how-to-manage-family-relationships/.
 
Remember, you deserve to feel safe and comfortable at home. If you’re ever feeling unsafe, please contact emergency services at 999 or 112. You are never alone—as you know Childline is here for you, to support you and explore your options with you. We are open 24 hours a day, every day. You can contact us for free at 1800 66 66 66, if you would like to talk with us for a change, or by Messenger at www.Childline.ie (just click on the purple chat icon), which you have used already.
 
We hope some of the above has been helpful for you. Take care of yourself, and reach out and let us know how you get on,
Alex

 

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