Pat's Answer

Messed up because of stuff that happened to me as a kid

Your Question

is it fair to have be messed up cause of stuff that happened to me as a kid or am i just being stupid? So I’m in my mid teens atm but like when i was a kid my mom used to ignore me alot. I dont know if this is normal or not tbh but either way shes stopped since i was a teen ig, or like it doesnt matter now anyway. But when i was a kid my mom used to ignore me if i was crying, wanted affection, got injured, was upset, ect. and would just leave me crying or hurt until i literally couldnt anymore, most of the time. Anyways, from about eight to thirteen years old i had SUCH bad health anxiety, like it would give me breakdowns and I’d go to bed most nights crying my eyes out cause i thought i was going to die of a brain tumour, a broken spine, failing liver ect. ect. quite crippling like. My question is tho, like am i just being a wimp or do i have a right to feel like this ? that im still affected by it? was this normal?  

Answer

Hello, welcome to Ask Pat, 

You have been very brave to reach out to us. You are asking if what you went through when you were a child is normal or not, and if what you went through maybe influences how you are feeling now in your mid-teens and if this too is normal.

Your feelings of confusion and anxiety are very understandable. Growing up as a young child was very difficult for you with being ignored and not receiving the love and care you rightfully deserved. It is understandable now as a teenager you are experiencing all these emotions. We are glad you reached out to Ask Pat, well done!  

You have the right to get help around the feelings you have experienced in the past; you also have the right to get help for what you are going through right now. Parents/guardians have a responsibility to look out for their children and make sure they are loved and safe.  Other adults in your life like your teachers, principal, relatives, and doctor have a responsibility to listen to you and get you support too if you are in need.  

There are organizations that might be of help to you such as:  www.jigsaw.iewww.yourmentalhealth.iewww.spunout.ie. You might like to look at these websites and they may help you understand what is going on for you or can offer you a direction in how to avail of other supports. The Childline website has some information which you may also find helpful www.childline.ie/how-i-feel/ and a section on abuse which you can find here www.childline.ie/what-is-abuse/.    

You are very welcome to talk to us at Childline too. Childline is here for you and we are available 24 hours day, 7 days a week. Childline never closes. Our services are free and confidential, and you can get in touch with us by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text at 50101 or by web chat through  www.childline.ie 

We hope that you will find some of the above contacts of help. Thanks for contacting us. We hope to hear from you soon.  

Take care of yourself,

Pat 

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