Alex's Answer

Is my Grandad touching my butt sexual assault?

Your Question

Is my grandad slapping/touching my butt repeatedly sexual assault? I find it really hard to talk about but I feel like I’m just overreacting because he loves me and my family is mostly normal but this has happened a few times (with my dad as well) and I feel so uncomfortable about it and too embarrassed to bring it up. My dads is kind of jokey about it but it still makes me uncomfortable

Answer

Hi there, 

Thank you so much for reaching out to us with what is going on for you, you have been so brave in telling us and we know, as you said, it can be really hard to talk about this. You have asked if your grandad slapping/touching your butt sexual assault, and you have said that this has happened a few times, with your dad as well. It is understandable that this is uncomfortable and hard to talk about. You have also said how your grandad loves you and your family, so this likely mikes the feelings that are coming up for you hard to understand. 

First of all, no one has the right to touch you with out your consent. Whether it is a joke or not, it is important that you feel safe and comfortable in your own home and around your family. Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to about this? Or do you think you can talk to your dad about it? We know this is uncomfortable, but it is important that you know you have the right to be heard. 

We know that it can be hard to open up to someone who is close to us, so maybe talking to somebody outside of your family who you feel comfortable talking to might work better for you at first.  It is important for your own physical and mental wellbeing that you get the help and support that you deserve.     

Túsla is the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. Here, there are social workers whose job it is to make sure that all people under the age of 18 are safe. You can find your local Túsla office here www.tusla.ie/get-in-touch/local-area-offices/. You may need the help of an adult to talk to somebody at Túsla, but it is important that you know, that the adults in your life have a responsibility to keep you safe and get you help if you are not.  

There are some articles on the Childline website too that you may find helpful www.childline.ie/what-does-inappropriate-sexual-behaviour-look-like/www.childline.ie/what-is-sexual-abuse/ 

Remember, whatever is happening for you, Childline is here to listen. Childline services are free, confidential, non-judgemental and are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can contact Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or through our web chat on www.childline.ie You can start a chat at any time by clicking on the purple messenger button.

Take care of yourself, and please reach out for support soon.

Alex 

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