Alex's Answer

Intimate questions

Your Question

My dad asks me if I am shaving my vagina, makes comments about my breasts if I am not wearing a bra and says he can see my nipples. He also looks at them when I am not wearing a bra and when I tell him to stop he covers his eyes?

Answer

Hi there,  

Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us about what’s been happening, you’ve been very brave in telling us about something that has been bothering you. We’re sorry to hear that your dad has been making inappropriate comments to you. It’s important that you know that no one has the right to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable and your feelings about your dad’s questions, comments and reactions are valid.  

You mentioned telling him to stop and he covers his eyes, have you felt comfortable chatting with him about how this makes you feel? Is there anyone else you trust that you can have a chat with about how you’ve been feeling and who may be able to sit in on the chat with your dad if you’re not comfortable having this chat with him alone.  

It is important that you feel safe and comfortable, and we would be concerned if your dad makes you feel unsafe. The comments and questions he asks you are a form of sexual harassment, and if you feel you are at risk you can contact the Gardaí on 112.

You can also contact Túsla, The Child and Family Services Agency in Ireland. They would have social workers who would be able to support you through this with you as it is their role to make sure young people are cared for and looked after. We understand it can be hard to ask for help but there will always be someone out there who is able to support you.  

If your dad continues to make inappropriate and sexual comments to you after speaking with him and you’re unsure what to do next it might be helpful chatting with a trusted adult such as another parent, teacher or school counsellor. You have every right to feel validated and listened to, and there will always be someone out there willing to help you feel safe and protected. You can find more information here about noticing the signs of sexual abuse www.childline.ie/what-is-sexual-abuse/. 

If you would like to talk about this some more, our Childline Team are here to help and support you too. We do not judge, and we can explore your options with you. You can contact us any time of the day or night, the Childline Listening service never closes. We are here for you 24/7/365. Our free phone service is 1800 66 66 66 or chat with us through our webchat service, by clicking on the purple Messenger circle at www.childline.ie. 

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us.  

Take care of yourself, and know that you do not have to go through anything on your own 

Alex

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.