Alex's Answer

I'm too insecure to have sex yet what do I do

Your Question

He is 19 has a girlfriend who abuses him I’m 16 He is looking for sex and I’m too insecure to have sex yet what do I do


Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you for reaching out to us with your worries and concerns.   

You mentioned that ‘he is 19 and has a girlfriend who abuses him and that you are 16’. You also mentioned that he is looking to have sex, however you are feeling insecure about having sex right now.  

It is okay to feel the way you do, it sounds like you are not ready to have sex with your boyfriend and that is okay, the important thing for you is that you are comfortable with the way things are between you and your boyfriend. Have you had a chat with your boyfriend to let him know your feelings? It would be your right to let him know how you are feeling. If you don’t feel comfortable chatting with your boyfriend about this you would have the right to chat to a trusted adult, maybe a parent, relative and/ or someone that knows you well.  

You can find various interesting articles about relationships under the “Sexuality and Relationships” banner:  Another website which you may find helpful is: 

Remember, you can always phone Childline on 1800 66 66 66 to talk about what is going on for you if you don’t feel ready to talk to someone in your life quite yet. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our text service, which can be reached on 50101 and Web Chat service through, are also available daily. While we will not tell you what to do, we are here to listen to and support you, and to help you to explore the options that are available to you in your life. We are here to help you in a way that suits you.   

Take Care,  


Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.