Alex's Answer

I'm slow, I'm a freak, and I'm not normal...

Your Question

Hi Alex, I’m slow, really slow, I always tell people I don’t know because I don’t seem to know how to answer what they ask me or I answer what I think they want to hear or what I think would make them happy for example someone asks me how they look I would say beautiful or cute, but it might not be true I just say it to make them happy. I have no friends I have trouble keeping friends as my life is boring so no topics amongst friends, I’m a loner, I lie a lot because my lies keep people in my life until they realise, I have lied, everything I’m not supposed to do, I do. Examples that are true are I steal, I self-harm, attempted suicide twice, I have sex with anyone I want to, I drink, and smoke weed I run away for fun really because I can do it. I’ve an empty life I’m 14 years old, my family don’t love me they don’t care what I do. It’s just me and me that’s all just myself and I pretend sometimes I am someone else I have a second personality. I don’t talk to anyone, I’m afraid and I don’t like talking about myself to anybody just talk to myself or my other personality. I’m slow I’m a freak and I’m not normal.

Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you so much for reaching out to us and trusting us with your thoughts. We know it can be a difficult thing to do, but we also know how great it is for young people to share their thoughts and their emotions. Talking about and sharing what is going on for you is a big step forward. 

We are concerned to know that you are self-harming, and that you attempted suicide twice and we would encourage anyone who has thoughts of self-harm and suicide to speak to a trusted adult. You mentioned that you feel like your family don’t love you nor care about you, and we are sorry to hear that. Have you considered speaking with Childline? You could call on 1800 66 66 66, contact us by text on 50101 or through our webchat at  https://www.childline.ie/.  The Childline team is there to listen 24 hours a day, every day. Our services are free, confidential, and non-judgemental.    

Thoughts regarding self-harm and suicide can arise for lots of different reasons but the important thing is to get support around these thoughts and, to remember that those feelings won’t last forever. All of us have a right to get help around feelings of self-harm, have a look at the following website for services (free and no referral needed) offered:  https://www.pieta.ie/ and you are welcome to visit the Childline website for more information about self-harming behaviours:  https://www.childline.ie/self-harm/ and  

https://www.childline.ie/how-to-help-someone-you-believe-might-be-self-harming/ 

At Childline, we believe that talking makes us stronger. Sharing our feelings with the people in our lives can be a difficult thing to do because we are never sure about how the other person will respond, what they will think or what they will say to us. However, carrying the weight of our problems alone and not sharing them with others can be more harmful to our wellbeing than facing our fear of telling someone what we are thinking and feeling. Do you have a trusted adult in your life who you would feel comfortable telling all this too? This can be a family member like an aunt, uncle, grandparent, or someone outside of the family like a teacher, neighbour, or sports coach. They may be able to help ensure that you get the correct support and help keep you safe. It’s important that you get the help that you deserve.   

   

Remember, you can always phone Childline on 1800 66 66 66 to talk about what is going on for you if you don’t feel ready to talk to someone in your life quite yet. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our text service, which can be reached on 50101 and Web Chat service through www.childline.ie, are also available daily. While we will not tell you what to do, we are here to listen to and support you, and to help you to explore the options that are available to you in your life. We are here to help you in a way that suits you.   

Take Care,  

Alex 

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