Pat's Answer

I'm scared to tell my family I'm pansexual

Your Question

I’m scared to tell my family I’m pansexual because my parents are not accepting at all. My sister recently passed due to suicide and they seem to be really mean to me and they even called me a whore one time because I was texting someone . I don’t know what to do I don’t feel safe



Thank you for writing to us. Your parents are being mean towards you and you are scared to tell them you are pansexual for fear of how they will react. You are also dealing with your sister’s suicide. This is a lot for one young person to cope with and we are glad you have decided to get in touch.

Feeling scared of opening up to parents about sexuality is something many young people go through. On top of that, you have had experiences in the past where they have not been accepting of you, by calling you a whore. It totally makes sense why, as a result, you may feel scared to be authentic with your parents. If you ever feel unsafe in your family home, you can phone 999 or 112, to get emergency help.

Every young person in Ireland has a right to safety and equality. You are saying you are pansexual, and you have the right to be heard on this. It seems like this has not always been the case for you. This does not mean it has to be this way forever. We are worried to hear that your parents are being verbally abusive towards you. The adults in your life have a responsibility to look out for you. When this support is not there for you at home, you can reach out to an adult outside of home, like a teacher, GP, friend’s parent, another relative. You have the right to be you, to be accepted as you and to receive help and support around being you. You also have the right to be listened to and to be heard.

Opening up about your sexuality with your parents is understandably daunting. Perhaps you would prefer to talk to someone who does not know you personally first.  is an organisation for LGBTQI+ youth. You can find out how they work and what supports they can offer you on their website. There are some articles on the Childline website too around your rights and your sexuality which you may find helpful.

We also want to let you know that it is okay to need some support around your sister’s passing. If you wanted to look at the Bereavement section of our website , this may be useful during this really difficult time. It is very important that you have a way to grieve for the loss of your sister and someone to talk to about her death.

Childline are here to listen to you day and night. There is so much going on for you, and you are not expected to manage this on your own. If you want to chat further with us, we would be happy to listen and look at options with you. You can contact us by phone 1800 66 66 66, by text 50101 or by web chat through .

Mind yourself for now. You are already taking a big step in writing to us here, well done for that.

Best wishes, we hope to hear from you soon.


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