Pat's Answer

I’m non binary and pan sexual but my friends keep saying I’m a girl and to stop joking around

Your Question

I’m non binary and pan sexual my friends keep saying I’m a girl and to stop joking around it’s also with me being pansexual they say that’s not right you have to like guys and they bully me too I give them chances since I was 4 I’m now 10 and this still continues however I can’t bare to see them leave our friendship behind and I can’t just stop I think I need help I’m a bit more of a follower than a leader I think I have depression as well because I always feel empty or sad what should I do?


Hello, thank you so much for sharing everything that you are feeling with us. 

From what we are hearing, you are non-binary and pan sexual and while you are happy with your identity, you feel that your schoolfriends bully you and don’t appear to accept who you are. 

You have mentioned that you are 10, and maybe your friends are struggling to understand who you are. Sometimes when friends don’t understand something, they end up saying things that are hurtful. Often, it’s easier to approach people individually than to talk to the whole group. We wonder if there’s a way you could chat to each of them, one at a time, to explain what your sexuality means to you and that their response leaves you feeling sad. Is there one friend that you could chat to first and explain how you are feeling? Your friends appear to be important to you and you don’t want to lose your friendships, but the way they are responding to you is causing you to feel hurt. You have the right to be happy in school. 

We wonder if you have explained how you are feeling about your friendships and feelings of emptiness and sadness to your parents/guardians? Is there another adult you could explain this to, maybe your teacher? If you were to chat to your teacher, what would you say? 

There are organisations that provide support to young people around their sexuality but due to your age, they wouldn’t be able to support you now. Here at Childline, we would love to chat to you. There is a great team here and we will listen to you, support you and we will explore options available to you, with you. 

The great thing is our service is free and we are here 24 hours a day. You can access us through webchat at or you can give us a call on 1800 66 66 66 or a text on 50101. 

We hope this helps a little, and if you need any more support, please contact us. 


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