Welcome to Ask Alex, and thank you for reaching out to us with your question. From what you’re saying, there’s a lot on your mind right now – feeling like you have no friends, that people hate you, and thinking about the tests over the next couple of years in school. It’s normal to have worries about friends and school, so you’re definitely not alone in that, and you’re not the problem. It sounds very tough to be having all these worries right now, and we’re sorry to hear that you feel your family and friends hate you. Nobody has the right to make you feel that way.
Let’s go through the different things you’ve mentioned one by one. Firstly, you mention not having any friends, and you also mention unrequited friendships. It can be really difficult feeling like you are the one putting in more effort in a friendship. You are who you are, and that is perfectly okay. You deserve to be friends with people who put in the same time and effort. Sometimes, it can take time to accept ourselves, but we each are who we are, and you don’t have to change yourself for anyone else. Our individual characteristics are what make each of us unique. Sometimes it can be hard to find people who share similar interests as you. Have you ever tried joining a club or group you might be interested in, such as sports or a hobby of yours? That would be a great way to find people who like doing the things you like to do. There are lots of options outside of sports too: coding, book clubs, arts and crafts, music. It can be hard sometimes to start talking to people, but it could be worth a shot, as most likely the other person is shy and scared to start a conversation with you too. There may also be people already in your life who you know but haven’t had a chance to be friends with yet. It can be really daunting, but you never know what could happen by just saying hi or asking how their weekend was. Here is an article on the Childline website that might give you some more ideas about making friends: www.childline.ie/do-you-struggle-to-make-friends-here-are-a-few-things-that-might-help/
You mention dreading the tests in school. It’s completely normal to dread tests and to have subjects that you feel more comfortable with than others. Are there any subjects that you enjoy? If so, what do you think helps you deal with them, and is that something you could apply to the subjects you’re not as confident with? What would it be like for you to reach out to a teacher or guidance counsellor at school, maybe one that you are comfortable talking to? They are there for support and to help find solutions if there are areas you need some more help with. You are not alone in feeling worried or anxious about tests, and your teachers may be able to help you come up with ways to reduce your worries and get through your tests as best you can. There are also some tips in this article that may be helpful for you: www.childline.ie/worried-about-going-back-to-school-here-are-6-things-that-will-help/
You also say you feel like your family hate you. That must be really tough to deal with. We’re not fully sure what things are like with your family, and relationships within families can sometimes be complex, with lots of ups and downs. When things are negative in one part of our life, it can feel like this is true in all aspects of our life. What makes you feel like your family hate you? Or is there someone within it that you would feel comfortable talking to about how you’re feeling? You deserve the space to talk and figure out what you want to do next to move forward.
If you feel you want to chat with someone in private, we are always here for you 24/7 to chat and listen to what’s going on for you. You can contact us via phone at 1800 66 66 66
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Take care, and thanks again for coming to us with your question.