Alex's Answer

Hi and welcome to Ask Alex.    

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and for reaching out for support. It is important to ask for help and you have taken a very positive first step by putting your question out there.     

You are wondering how you can get over your ex. You say that you broke up 8 months ago and 2 months later found out he had cheated on you.  You say you miss him, and it really hurts knowing he did not care at all. 

Relationships can be difficult at times. It is completely understandable that you feel you miss him and can’t stop thinking about him; it sounds like this person was a big part of your life for those eight months. It is so important to ensure that you do not lose yourself in either the relationship itself or the break-up process. You mentioned that your ex was cheating on you the whole time. Being in a relationship means that you both should respect, trust, and care for one another. If the other individual has knowingly hurt your feelings, they may not be the right person to have in your life. You may find these articles about relationships on the Childline website helpful when asking yourself the above questions  www.childline.ie/these-are-the-characteristics-of-an-unhealthy-relationship/ and www.childline.ie/these-are-the-characteristics-of-a-healthy-relationship/     

Relationships can become like comfort blankets in which it feels good to have another person in our lives. When this is no longer there, we quite naturally miss it. However, it is also important to remember that you have other people in your life to support you such as friends and family, those on your sports teams or at school. Spending time with the other people in your life whom you love might take your mind off your ex. It might also be a good time to rediscover yourself – what are your hobbies for instance? Maybe this article will be useful to help you handle a breakup in as healthy a way as possible https://www.childline.ie/coping-with-a-break-up/  

It might be a good idea to discuss what is happening to you with a trusted adult in your life, someone that you feel comfortable talking to and you trust. They may be able to support you in coming up with a plan that is right for you to help you get through the breakup. It can often be the case that those around us have gone through similar situations themselves and can give useful advice.    

If you are not yet ready to approach an adult or friend in your life right now, then you could contact Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline is here for you anytime and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is a free and confidential service. We are non-judgmental, and we will not tell you what to do; instead, we can help you explore what options may be available to you.       

Thank you for your question and we hope that you find some of the information above useful.    

Please look after yourself, and get in touch if you would like to chat some more,

Alex