Alex's Answer

I’m confused about my sexuality after kissing my best friend

Your Question

hi im am confuded on my sexuality i have had boyfrieds and i have always likead boys but just recently my girl bestfried kissed me and i have feelings for her 


Hi there and thank you for reaching out! 

You say you feel confused as after your best friend kissed you, you have feelings for her, even though you have always been interested in boys. 

It can indeed feel confusing, especially if it hadn’t before crossed your mind that you may be attracted to the same sex. Teenage years, though, are times of change. The hormonal and physical changes of puberty usually mean people start noticing an increase in sexual feelings. It’s common to wonder and sometimes worry about these new feelings. It takes time for many people to understand who they are and who they’re becoming. Part of that involves a better understanding of their own sexual feelings and who they are attracted to. 

During the teen years, people often find themselves having sexual thoughts and attractions. For some, these feelings and thoughts can be intense and confusing. That can be especially true for people who have romantic or sexual thoughts about someone who is the same sex they are. “What does that mean,” they might think. “Am I gay?” 

Being interested in someone of the same sex does not necessarily mean that a person is gay — just as being interested in someone of the opposite sex doesn’t always mean a person is straight. It’s common for teens to be attracted to or have sexual thoughts about people of the same sex and the opposite sex. It’s one way of sorting through emerging sexual feelings. Sexuality develops over time. Exploration and experimentation with sexuality is normal and common. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers about this right now!

When we talk about sexual orientation, we mean the emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction that a person feels toward another person. There are several types of sexual orientation, and LGBT Ireland has put the most known (not all that exist) in a list that you can check here: 

All that being said, if your best friend kissed you and you both enjoyed it, you both could be feeling the same way or having the same thoughts or questions in your minds. You are a very important person to each other, and you call each other best friend – it must mean you trust each other and feel comfortable talking and sharing whatever you are going through. It could be worth it to sit down and talk about it, share how you felt and whether you would like to continue exploring those feelings together or not.  

If you need to talk to someone about this or anything else for that matter, know that Childline is here to listen whenever you need to chat. Our Childline Listening team can be contacted 24/7, 365 days a year. If you’d like a live chat, you can visit the website, or perhaps you’d prefer to text us on 50101 or give us a call on 1800 666 666. 

We hope this helped! 

Take care, Alex. 

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there’s nothing too big or small.