I’m an anxious overthinker, what should I do?
For a while I have been getting very anxious when around people and tend to overthink every little thing. I feel like people don’t want to be around me and get very awkward during conversations. I don’t feel close enough to anyone to talk about my problems what should I do?
Hi there, you are very welcome to Ask Alex.
Thank you for contacting us. We understand that it’s not always easy to share our thoughts and worries, but we also know how important it is to talk about how we are feeling. You have been very brave in reaching out, and you have the right to get help and support.
You have said that for the last little while, you have been getting very anxious around others and you tend to overthink things. This has led to you to feel that people don’t want to be around you and you become awkward during conversations.
It is important to remember that some anxiety, an unpleasant feeling associated with apprehension, uneasiness and worry, is normal. When anxiety starts interfering with our lives and daily activities that it becomes a cause for concern. Anxiety disorders are a very common condition. Any one of us, irrespective of age, gender or background can be affected. It has emotional and behavioural effects, and it can also affect our bodies physically by making our stomachs sore, causing light-headed or dizzy spells, making us feel like we need to go to the bathroom or causing our faces to go red.
Anxiety can make us feel scared or sad or angry with the people around us. It can also make us believe bad things are going to happen or that things are worse than they are – this is similar to the overthinking of little things, like you mentioned. Here are some things that you could try to help you cope with these anxious feelings:
- Try to identify the factors in your life which lead to your anxiety.
- Consider the stress factors in your life, as anxiety is likely to worsen at times of high stress.
- Consider accessing support services such as talk therapies. This can help to tackle stress factors in your life which may be aggravating the anxiety.
- Think about which relaxation techniques might be useful for you – breathing exercises, mindfulness, yoga.
- Light physical exercise and spending time outdoors can be very beneficial in alleviating some of the symptoms.
- Even on a bad day, there are good moments in it. Consider keeping a gratitude diary and noting three good things that happen each day, this can contribute to building self-esteem.
There is also an article on the Childline website on how to reframe anxious thoughts which you may find useful: https://www.childline.ie/anxiety-creeping-upon-you-5-tips-on-how-to-reframe-anxious-thoughts/. Furthermore, we at Childline offer specialised support for young people, aged 14 to 18 years old, who experience anxiety. You can learn more about our Digital Mental Health and Wellbeing Programmes here: https://www.ispcc.ie/guided-digital-programmes/ In order to engage in this service, you will need consent from your parent/carer.
You mentioned that you don’t feel close enough to talk to anyone about how you are feeling. This is completely understandable but remember, you deserve to be listened to and to have your feelings heard. Your feelings are valid, and you are not alone. If you feel that you are not ready yet to talk to someone you know, you are very welcome to chat with the Childline Team by phone on 1800 66 66 66 or through our web chat on www.childline.ie. Childline services are free and confidential, and are available 24 hours, 7 days a week.
Thank you for reaching out to us.