Alex's Answer

Hello and welcome to Ask Alex, 

Well done for starting this conversation, this is the very first step to opening up about your thoughts and feelings. We are sorry to hear that you have a lot going on and find it difficult to trust people so you end up carrying it all on your own; that must be very hard for you.  

Sharing with others what is going on for us is not an easy thing to do because we are never sure how they will react or what they will think. It might be helpful to consider what is the worst possible response you can get from a friend, parent, cousin, teacher and then think about the best response you could hope for. Often, we don’t give those around us enough credit or the benefit of the doubt when it comes to opening up about our concerns. They are in our lives and chances are, they love us, and they want what’s best for us and would want to help in any way they can, so why not start there? If you think about it, carrying things on our own and not having the release of someone to open up to every now and again, may actually be much, much harder and potentially detrimental to our wellbeing, than having a conversation about our worries and problems.  

You may benefit from writing out a little synopsis of what is going on for you. Then use another page to write up the different responses that you believe the individual you want to discuss it with will have. Keep doing this for a couple of days and even practice in the mirror so it feels like you are talking to another person. Writing things down in itself is a little release and can help lighten the load. When you feel ready, ask the trusted adult or individual if they can sit down and have a conversation and be clear that that is important to you. At first the idea is daunting, but it will get easier. It is important to know that there are people in your life you can trust and who will support and be there for you no matter what.  

If you do not feel ready just yet to speak to a trusted adult, please remember that our Childline service is here for you. You can reach out to talk or chat to us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and our services are free and confidential. You can talk to us by phone  1800 66 66 66  or chat to us one-to-one on our webchat on  www.childline.ie  or by text on  50101. We will not judge anything you say to us or tell you what to do. We will look at what options may be available to you, with you.   You might find this article on our website useful: https://www.childline.ie/not-sure-how-to-ask-for-help-heres-what-to-do.  

We hope that you find the information provided above useful and again, we would like to thank you for reaching out to Ask Alex. You have made the first step by speaking out here, please continue to look for the help and support you deserve.   

Look after yourself.  

Alex.