Pat's Answer

I will be sent to live with my abusive dad

Your Question

im going to be suspended and my mum will send me to my abusive dad and his gf to live with them and i hate him and dont want to go what should i do please help im desperate


Hi there, welcome to Ask Pat.

Thank you for reaching out and telling us what is going on for you.   

You are saying that you are going to be suspended from school and you think your mum will send you to live to your dad and his girlfriend. You tell us that your dad is abusive, and you do not want to go and live with them. 

It seems that you have so much going on for you right now. It is understandable you would be feeling anxious. Have you spoken to your mum about the suspension and your fears around going to live with your dad? You have the right to be safe and happy. No one has the right to hurt you in anyway, with hands or feet or words.  If you feel you are in danger in your dads home or at any other time, you can contact the emergency services at 999 or 112. You are taking the right steps in reaching out and seeking help. 

It is your parents’ responsibility to ensure you are safe and your dad does not have the right to hurt you. If you feel that you cannot talk to your mum just now, would there be another trusted adult that you could talk to about what is going on? This adult could be an aunt, uncle, or grandparent. We know that it can be hard to open up to someone who is close to us, so maybe talking to somebody outside of your family who you feel comfortable talking to, might work better for you at first. It is important for your own physical and mental well-being that you get the help and support that you deserve. 

Here is some information and articles that you might find helpful. Túsla is the Child and Family Agency in Ireland. In Túsla, there are social workers whose job it is to make sure that all people under the age of 18 are living in a safe home. You can find your local Túsla office here The Childline website has lots of information too which you may like to look at   

We are sorry you are going through a bad time with your school and your mum and dad. You mention your dad is abusive and that you hate him.  Maybe you would like to contact us in Childline to discuss this further. We want to hear from you, and Childline is a safe place for you to talk about your options and anything else that you wish to chat about. Childline is here for you whenever you would like to talk or chat and we really do want to listen to you. You are welcome to talk to Childline by phone on 1800 66 66 66, by text at 50101 or through web chat on These services are open 24-hours a day, every day and are free and confidential.    

You are brilliant in coming forward and reaching out. You can get in touch with Childline anytime. Remember, you have the right to support and to be safe and happy. You do not have to be alone during this tough time.   

We really hope to hear from you soon.    

Keep safe,     


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