Alex's Answer

I was sexually assaulted when I was little

Your Question

I often imagine being raped and I dont know why. When I was little I was Sexually Assualted and I know that I would never wanna go through that ever again! Yet sometimes when I’m alone I imagine it happening.. And I just feel absolutely disgusted with myself.


Hi and welcome to Ask Alex,
You have taken a very brave step in bringing your question to us today. We hope that some of the information we give can be of help to you. We want you to know that, although it can be hard, it truly helps to express what is going on for us and reach out to supports that can help.
You have spoken about ‘imagining being raped and that this can happen sometimes when you are alone,’ and you have also spoken about ‘being sexually assaulted when you were younger.’ We are very sorry to hear that you had to go through a sexual assault in your life and would just highlight the importance of speaking out about this and informing the Gardai so that the perpetrator is prosecuted for putting you through this. This can be done by visiting your local Garda Station and making a report, if you have not already done so.
Having such a traumatic event happen in your life can bring up many different thoughts, feelings, and emotions. When traumatic events happen to us as human beings, we can sometimes suppress the thoughts and try dealing with it by locking those emotions in a Pandora’s box in our head/body and push ourselves into the next thing, moving forward as quickly as possible. The fact that these thoughts are entering your head could mean that you have not had closure or fully dealt with what happened to you in your past. If we do not deal with these, they will continue to follow us, coming out at times and on occasions when you would least expect it to. Speaking with a professional can help you understand what is going on for you and would help you through this very difficult time. You can reach out to the National 24hr helpline on 1800 77 8888. They are available anytime, or you can visit their website on Also, you could reach out to the HSE on or The website can give you a list of local services that you can reach out to.
Having trusted supporters in your life is very important to help you in the process. Doing it alone should not be an option as you will have a long and difficult road ahead of you. Finding that positive adult in your life is vital. Someone that you can speak to that can be waiting for you when you come out of that first meeting with the Gardai, or that first counselling session, or following the call to the helpline, whatever the situation is for you, whatever the path is going to look like, that individual that will sit with you, that they will listen, they will cry with you. Having that support is so important and those around you, although they will know how difficult it will be, are waiting and ready to support you. Communication is also important. Also remember, it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. You have been through so much; don’t be putting any further pressure on yourself. Let out the different emotions. We all need a release sometimes.
If you would like to talk it out with our Childline team before reaching out to that trusted adult in your life, please do so by phone on 1800 66 66 66, or through our Live Chat on Childline is here for you anytime, and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is a free and confidential service.
Going forward, we hope that you find the support and power to address this difficult life experience, and thank you for sharing. You are not alone and will only get stronger by sharing and searching for the support you are entitled to.
Take care of yourself,

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