I want to kill myself, but I am afraid
i wanna kms but im to afraid of the pain and idk how to tell anyone words never show how i feel
Thank you for getting in touch with us here at Ask Alex. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now, but you are so brave to contact us and tell us how you are feeling.
So on the one hand, you say you want to kill yourself, but you’re afraid of the pain. On the other hand, it sounds like you might want to tell someone how you’re feeling, but you don’t think your words describe how you feel. Can we say we think you have done an amazing job describing how you are feeling to us here today, and your words perfectly describe how you’re feeling right now.
We know it can be really overwhelming, thinking of sharing how you are feeling with someone in your life, but you deserve help and support with the thoughts you are having. It does sound like maybe you want to talk to someone. Maybe you could think about the people in your life that you feel comfortable talking with. What do you think it would be like to say to them something similar to what you have said to us today? You have really gotten across to us how you are feeling and how things are for you right now. Perhaps there is a close friend or family member who is good at listening, whom you trust, and who has been there for you.
You mentioned feeling like your words never show how you feel. Once you have decided who you might want to talk to, maybe you could take some time to think about what you want to say to them or even write down some of your thoughts to get ready for the conversation you want to have. You could bring these with you when you choose to talk to them. It might be helpful to pick a quiet time to talk, when you won’t be interrupted by anyone else. There is also a really supportive article here that you might like to take a look at: spunout.ie/mental-
Telling a family member or another trusted person in your life is really important, but there are also professional support services out there for you too. Pieta House offers support for people who are experiencing suicidal thoughts and is available 24/7. They have a text service (text ‘Help’ to 51444) or a phone line (1800 247 247). Your GP may also be able to point you in the direction of support services in your area if you feel comfortable talking to them.
If you feel like you want to talk about this some more with someone who doesn’t know you, or to explore what you might want to say to the people who do, please know Childline is here 24/7 via our Live Chat service (www.childline.ie) or on the phone (1800 66 66 66). You can talk about anything you want to; there’s no rush, and we are here to listen to whatever you want to say.
You have taken such a big step in contacting us and have shown such courage in doing so. We hope what we have said will be helpful for you and wish you all the very best – you deserve it.
Take care of yourself,
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