Alex's Answer

I regret nearly opening up to my friend about my problems

Your Question

i asked my freind could i talk to him about somthing over text and then when i was counting how many days i am shelf harm free (25 days) he replies and says go ahead. i was going to telll him a little problem but then i started shakeing i felt like i couldent tell him so i told him to give me a min to let me to a math question he asked what i wanted to talk about and i just guessed he was talking about the maths question so i ignored every question and kept saying that i was bored and wanted to do a math question. he asked what i wanted to talk about and i said i forgot i was shaking for half an hour it passed so quickly and i didnt want my mum to see the messages so i delated all of my messages and then asked him could he deleate his messages but then i realised i could deleate his messages just for me so i delated that and the message asking can he deleate the message but i didnt realise it was just for me now hes gonna read them and be worried i thought i could do this i guess not i dont know what to do i am freaking out and he wont pick up the phone i dont want him telling an adult 


Hi, and welcome to Ask Alex.

We would like to thank you for bringing your question to us and praise you for taking the very difficult first step of opening up and talking about your feelings, thoughts and experiences.  

Firstly, from your message, we see that you are 25 days free from self-harming behaviours which is great. Secondly, we see that you are worried about what your friend will think and say after you initially asked to have a chat, changed your mind about it and asked them to delete the messages while you tried to delete the messages too. It seems like you have been dealing with this on your own as you were not able to talk to your friend and you would not want them to tell an adult; it must be incredibly difficult for you.  

Self-harming can occur for many and varied reasons. You may be using self-harm to release pent up feelings of distress or anger. It is important to know that there are other forms of release that will not affect your health or well-being but will help in dealing with those feelings in a safe and healthy manner. Many different organisations work with young people around self-harm, and it can be helpful to reach out and speak to them. Here are some websites that you could look at to find out what support is on offer: ,,, and If you are ever in any kind of danger or need immediate medical assistance, please contact the emergency service on 999 or 112. These calls are free from any landline or mobile phone. 

The important thing to remember is if someone is your friend, chances are they’re someone you can trust and talk to, and that they have your best interests at heart. It does not sound like you gave any specific details about what was going on for you at the time; you just asked if you could talk about something, is that right? It’s quite likely that they will call you back when they see that they have missed your calls and you can decide how much to share with them then.  

Taking the time to write this message to Ask Alex shows that you are ready to speak up and look for support. Engaging in self-harming behaviours is a difficult thing to go through on your own and having friends and family to support you will make an enormous difference to you. With that in mind, I encourage you to speak to an adult in your life as they may be able to help support you through this. It can be anyone you trust and feel comfortable with like a parent, grandparent, uncle/aunt, youth worker, GP, teacher etc. Reaching out and getting support from a trusted adult can be particularly useful and they will assist you in finding the correct service or support you require. 

If you are not yet ready to approach an adult in their life right now, then you could contact Childline through our web chat on, by sending a text to 50101 or by phone on 1800 66 66 66. Childline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It is a free and confidential service. We are non-judgemental, and we will not tell you what to do instead we can help you explore what options may be available to you.     

Again, we would like to thank you for your question, and I hope that you find some of the information above useful.  

Look after yourself.  


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