Alex's Answer

I miss my online friend

Your Question

Hey alex. So basically I’m 12, and I had online friends. My BEST online friend though, (lets call him.. Nate. Since he told me his real name, ill give a fake one, nate.) Nate. And my dad deleted the website I used to talk to nate. And I REALLY miss him.( If you’re wonderingf, because you usually tell me this when I say something like this, no, im not going to talk to my dad about it. I don’t know any adults I could talk to, but I do have my cousin around my age and my friend.) Like, we told each other EVERYTHING! He told me about his abusive dad, I told him about my abusive mom. (Im ok now, im living with my dad.) We talked about church, books, etc. We were best friends.. I just want to either meet him in real life or have that website back.. (I can’t get it back I’m on a Stupid kids tablet that I can’t get to the website on because my dad banned it on here.) I don’t know. We shared a love for music, and our problems. Last night I even cried about missing him. (My dad deleted it in December 9th last year. So its been almost 8 months) Im just really upset. 

Answer

Hi there, you are very welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you for reaching out to us. We understand that it’s not always easy to share how we’re feeling, but we also know how important it is to talk about our worries and concerns.  

From what you have told us, it sounds like you are really missing your best friend from an online platform you can no longer access. It’s understandable that this is upsetting for you, especially when you have so much in common with Nate, and because you used to speak to him so frequently.  

You have said that you are not going to talk to your Dad about this, but it might be helpful to have a conversation with him, to understand what his reasons were for banning the website from your tablet. He might also be able to better explain why he felt the need to delete the website, or you might be able to come to a compromise in which you may still be able to access the website and talk to your best friend, but maybe with some boundaries and time limits.  

Parents often take away devices and restrict access to websites because they care about you. They might do it to help you focus on schoolwork, get enough sleep, or simply to ensure you’re not spending too much time online. Sometimes they worry about the content you might be exposed to or the people you might interact with online. It’s not about punishing you, but rather about guiding you and keeping you safe. That’s why it might be helpful to communicate to your Dad about how you feel. Let him know that you understand his concerns, but also express your own perspective, respectfully. 

You have said that you would either like to get back on the website or meet Nate in real life. It’s important to consider safety when meeting online friends and understanding that not everyone is who they say they are. Sometimes people create fake profiles. If someone you’ve met online asks for inappropriate photos or makes you uncomfortable, stop communicating with them and report the behaviour.  

If you would like to talk about this in more detail, you are very welcome to chat to us through our freephone service on 1800 66 66 66 or through our webchat service, by clicking on the purple Messenger circle at www.childline.ie. Childline services are free and confidential, and are available for children in Ireland, 24 hours, 7 days a week.   

Thank you for reaching out to us.  

Take care,    

Alex   

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