Alex's Answer

Hi there and welcome to Ask Alex.  

Thank you for writing to us about what is going on for you at the moment. Talking about your experiences and feelings can be challenging at times but it can be a real relief to get things off your chest. 

You mentioned that you love your girlfriend, but she isn’t giving you the same energy. You have been very brave and honest in writing how you feel. It must feel quite lonely and isolating not knowing if she feels the same way about your relationship as you do. Remember, you are allowed to ask for your needs to be met in any sort of relationship, romantic or other. Have you discussed this with her at all? It can be scary and make us feel very vulnerable opening up about our concerns, but she may be able and willing to allay some of your worries if given the chance to do so. She may not realise that you feel she doesn’t put in as much effort into the relationship as you do and by having an open, honest and kind conversation with her about it, you are giving her the opportunity to take steps to rectify any difficulties you may be having as a couple.  

This article on the Childline website https://www.childline.ie/how-to-build-healthy-friendships-and-relationships/ maybe helpful for you. While you there, you can find various interesting articles about relationships under the “Sexuality and Relationships” banner: https://www.childline.ie/sexuality-and-relationships/. Another website which you may find helpful is: www.SpunOut.ie. 

You have the right to get support if you want to chat about this more. Have you considered talking to a trusted adult about this? They may have gone through the same thing when they were younger and can give you advice around how to deal with it or point you in the right direction should you need further help. 

If you do not feel like there is someone in your life that you can get support from then there is always the option of contacting Childline, who are there to listen. Our text service, which can be reached on 50101 and web chat service, through www.childline.ie are available daily or you can give us a call on 1800 66 66 66. We are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. While we will not tell you what to do, we are here to listen to and support you, and to help you to explore the options that are available to you in your life. We are here to help you in a way that suits you.   

Take care,  

Alex